Want to Re-Enter the Dating Pool? Seniors Take the Plunge

By Jody Smith HERWriter

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seniors take the plunge and re-enter the dating pool

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For most seniors, their first date took place way back when. And you can bet that the dating world has become a very different place than the one you remember.

If you've been thinking about venturing back out into that dating world, you may be feeling a little hesitant. Maybe even downright scared.

But really, if you're tired of being alone, and feel like maybe you've got one more solid go-round in you, what's your alternative?

Let's face it, if you were going to find the person of your dreams while gardening or watching TV, it would have happened by now.

So if you're interested in some companionship, some friendship and perhaps romance, back into the dating pool you must go.

Going to the grocery store has also only gotten you groceries all this time. Don't expect that to change now. Seniors scoping out potential dates in the produce department sounds a little unlikely.

Though the desire for human companionship, a mate, is an imperative that never changes, you can bet that the ways and means of dating are far removed from how you did things back in the day.

And then of course there is the fact that you aren't 18, you're ... older. And you may be a bit nervous about just how much difference THAT is going to make.

But be brave. Take the plunge. If you want to meet someone, you are going to have to start meeting people.

First you must get to know each other. And each step of the way you can decide whether you want to continue getting to know each other. Maybe you'll decide this isn't going to go anywhere.

Then it's time to move on. Don't be so bent on finding a spouse that you make a major commitment to someone you frankly don't even know yet.

With that premise in mind, don't make the first dates too heavy, too long or too complicated. Do not suggest a weekend away.

In fact, in the beginning, don't even suggest something that will commit you both to hours together. No three hour drives, or bike rides.

In order to get to know each other, choose your activities accordingly.

A place with loud music, or where talking is out of the question like a movie or play is not going to enable you both to learn more about each other.

Perhaps going for lunch, meeting for coffee, or for some mutual hobby will be the right setting to get to know each other better.

Maybe you've been married before, or maybe you've never married and always wished you had been. But it's important to keep in mind that this is the beginning of a relationship and not a marriage proposal you are embarking on.

It is also not the reincarnation of your first husband or the boyfriend who you always wished you'd stayed with. This is a brand new human being, with the prospect of a brand new experience.

Keep it simple. Keep it short. Keep it casual. If the chemistry is right and the spark is there, later dates will be happening, and matters can unfold as they should.

Sources:

How to Overcome First Date Anxiety
http://seniorliving.about.com/od/sexromance/a/seniordatingFD1.htm

http://www.better-relationships-over-50.com/senior-dating.html

Visit Jody's website and blog at http://www.ncubator.ca and http://ncubator.ca/blogger

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Anonymous

thanks… very interesting

July 24, 2012 - 5:16am

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.