HIV Positive And Pregnant: What Is It Like?
Darkina describes her emotional and physical state as a pregnant women with HIV.
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Darkina:
I did have the final say in saying use the condom but again, I didn’t push that issue because he didn’t want to. So now I am pregnant with a baby and HIV positive. At three months being pregnant I had to start HIV meds. I didn’t take meds before. It was very overwhelming – very overwhelming. My body getting back on track from being out on drugs, then all of a sudden I end up pregnant, flip, flip and then I am on HIV meds – triple flip.
So I am going through a big emotional rollercoaster. I am depressed. I am angry. I am very upset. I made a bad choice. I made a bad decision. How could I do this? I am in early recovery but I have to keep on fighting. I can’t let it get me down. I can’t get just way, way depressed where I am not able to just go on. The father of the child is just not supportive and he is not there but the main thing again, was for me to stay strong for myself and then I have to say strong for my child.
I had a problem with taking HIV meds because the addition to Percocets. I didn’t want to take all those pills. It was driving me crazy so I went through an emotional rollercoaster for two weeks on taking these meds, but while doing this here I trust in my higher power. I trust in my higher power to give me the strength, to carry me through, “Lord, carry me through this, not over this, carry me through this. I want to get through this because no matter what, whether I want a child or not, I did what I did. I have to take full responsibility, love this child, and give the child the nourishment that he needs.”
After two weeks coming to Southwest Center to my support group, getting medical attention, going to Ebony House, being around the right people and the right place at the right time, I was able to overcome that. Today, I must say god has brought me to a whole another page. I love my child. It’s still struggle because I am 35 years old. It’s an 18-year difference. It’s a huge toll. I have never been this big, but today I push more than I have ever pushed in my life.
I go to school. I have a full schedule. I go to school to get my GED. I go to my doctor’s appointments. I make my support groups. I keep on striving today because I love myself and because HIV is just not going to get me down. I going to be a proven fact that I can do anything with HIV.
January I’ll be going to college with HIV, being a substance abuse counselor with HIV. I got my GED while being pregnant with HIV, you know? I’m going to be that story; I did all this with HIV. It’s no stop. There’s no stopping me. The sky is the limit for me.
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How is she 35 and has a 20 year old son. Sounds to me like this person was irresponsible her whole life. Did she have her first baby at age 15? Thats crazy. Then she had another at age 17? She never finished high school education until she was in her 30's.
I know HIV has no owner, and even a responsible person can get it but this lady seems very very irresponsible.
March 25, 2011 - 3:27amThis Comment
Thank you for sharing your story which I can understand is sometimes hard to share due to ridicule. I think most people are scared of the unknown and therefore want to find the negative in a situation. I applaud you for being open about your life and positive attitude.
The most important thing to understand about HIV or AIDS is that it does not discriminate against anyone. HIV is known to attack your immune system and I can only imagine what you went through while being pregnant also. The Center of Disease Control indicated that there were approximately 56,000 people living with HIV in the United States in 2006. I also wanted to add additional information from the CDC:
Where did HIV/AIDS come from?
Scientists identified a type of chimpanzee in West Africa as the source of HIV infection in humans. They believe that the chimpanzee version of the immunodeficiency virus (called simian immunodeficiency virus or SIV) most likely was transmitted to humans and mutated into HIV when humans hunted these chimpanzees for meat and came into contact with their infected blood. Over decades, the virus slowly spread across Africa and later into other parts of the world.
For more information from the CDC please click here http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/basic/.
I just wanted to add this information for individuals who think that HIV/AIDS comes from irresponsible people…
Keep thinking positive and keep us updated on your progress. I look forward to reading more stories from you.
Best in Health!
March 25, 2011 - 10:53amMissie