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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: Not Depression, More Like Alzheimer's: Part 2

By HERWriter
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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome isn't like depression. It's more like Alzheimer's.

When I can't remember what you JUST told me a second ago ... When I reach for a word and cannot find it ... When I stare at my computer and can't remember what to do with a program that I used to know like the back of my hand ... When I walk into a store and have no idea what I came in there for ...

When the thoughts are moving at lightning speed in my head, but cannot find the right spot to light, cannot lock into the right category ... I can feel it happening sometimes and it is freaky.

When I see your lips moving and hear your words but ... give me a minute because I'm having trouble processing right now ... give me a minute ...

This used to be constant for me.

The muscle and joint pain, the swelling legs and feet and arms and hands, even the body stone where everything inside whirls and sings -- all these things I could function around if I had to. I could still live a life.

But the mental kaleidoscope of intermittent imbecility was what used to do me in. No matter that I was capable of moments of brilliance. I was an idiot savant -- emphasis on the former. So what if I was sometimes smart. Too often I was out to lunch.

And you just can't make it anywhere that way.

Totally apart from the seriously physical symptoms we CFSers deal with, the mental side (take note, I did not say emotional) is a showstopper.

It is not that we do not feel well to the point of despair, as in depression.

It is more that we cannot think well. And it drives us crazy.



I spent 15 years losing the battle against CFS. Two years ago, I found treatment that worked for me and now I am making a comeback.

Add a Comment9 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

Seen many of their videos. I'm a Misty, similiar to a Trekkie (Trekker to those who find Trekkie to be offensive.)

The video is a "short" from a TV series called 'Mystery Science Theater 3000'. It started up on a UHF station (KTMA- Minnesota), was bought up by Comedy Central, and then went to the SCI FI Network. Ran 1988 to 1999. They also had a movie, a syndicated show (MST3K Hour) and a book. It has an extremely rabid fan base. Similiar to Star Trek, but on a much smaller scale.

You can watch many of the shorts and full length episodes on Youtube.

That was a little odd about the links, but I think I understand the rationale. People and spam programs will put advertisment links on websites and blogs. The easiest way to eliminate the advertising spam is to eliminate any and all urls.

Fractured is a great way to describe it. Very succinct.

Going to take your advice and cool my engines. Had to repy to this post first though.

(Was feeling horrible last night, cold and sweating, stiff and sore, blood pressure going wonky, feeling downright snippy. Today feeling better. After doing this post, I can feel my batteries running low. See ya later.)

July 23, 2009 - 11:58am

Hi Mr. B.

So you'd seen the video somewhere before then?

I didn't delete the links, but I guess it must be the policy. I didn't know that before either. :-) No harm done, though.

When things start getting fractured like you're describing, then, yes, it's a wise choice to move away from the computer for awhile. I had to do that myself earlier today. Had a nice long nap.

Take your time and rest up, Mr. B. :-)

July 22, 2009 - 12:06pm

I watched, and you're right I'll never forget Mr. B Natural. :-)

Are you a musician Mr. B, or did you just like the video?

July 19, 2009 - 6:37pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Jody Smith)

Sorry for the slowww response. I forgot that I posted.
Just liked the video.

-----I watched, and you're right I'll never forget Mr. B Natural. :-)-----
I don't think it is possible to forget Mr. B Natural, even with CFS memory. lmao

Early musical informercial posing as a "Mental Hygiene film". CONN musical instruments sneaking a woman (surreptitiously disguised as a man) into a young boys room, under the guise of building his self esteem. If I hadn't seen that so called "hygeine film", with my own eyes; I wouldn't of belived it existed. It is one of the funniest things, I've ever seen.

I noticed my links were moderated. Do you erase them? If links are forbidden, that's cool; I wasn't aware of that rule.

If you really liked that video, you can see the last few minutes. I assumed it was on Youtube, sadly it was truncated. I just became aware of that truncated fact.

To see the last few minutes of it: google "War of the colossal beast"-- use the video search-- the uppermost video is the one that has the mising few minutes, that should of been seen directly after the Youtube video.

((((Keep re-reading sentences and keep forgetting/(brain turning off) what I've read. Makes proofreading lots of fun. You should of seen it before the proofreading. lol Think I"m going to stay away from posting for awhile. Having some difficulties sorting my ideas into something coherent. Becoming irritable, from the proofreading. A bit jittery and flushed in the face, and I'm not even driving. Time to step away from the computer. lol)))))

July 22, 2009 - 11:33am
EmpowHER Guest

---"royal beating"--- I really like the the way that sounds. It has a nice flow to it.

---my fingers are co-ordinated like they used to be."---

I noticed that particular error immediately; I do precisely the same thing (think one thing and accidentally type the opposite of what I meant). I can more easily see the mistakes in other's writings; I don't readily see my own errors (I've coined the condition HCE) (Holden Caulfield Errors).

I think "typing dyslexia" exists. I've noticed that I've typed words incorrectly. Usually the 2nd and 3rd, or the 3rd and 4th letter are transposed. One straight week (month?- not sure) I kept typing "the" and "they" incorrectly. (Felt like, I had permanetly unlearned "the") I kept typing "t-e-h" or "t-e-h-y". It made me madder than a wet hen. I had to mentally berate my fingers to type "the" instead of "teh". (Occasionally/sporadically I'll have problems with "their". I will type "thier". No idea why the "th", causes me so much difficulty.)

-----It's like they'd lost the ability and I didn't know at first if I would get it back ... like so many things ...-----
I'm glad your typing came back.

That's the best idea; avoid driving stick!!! Learning a new skill can be overly taxing, best to avoid anything that taxes you. (First rule is "do no Harm", the Hippocratic Oath is on the money.) Even if you could drive stick, there would be future problems to deal with. You could theoritically learn how to drive (and balance on a hill) and do so quite nicely. After you learn to drive stick, you'd find out the first week is the worst. After awhile, it's like riding a bike, very little thought is required. A few months later you would be having a bad night and it would be dark and rainy. Night blindness would be effecting you (no moon, lots of clouds), other cars hogging the middle of the road and you'd have some jitters. It would be hard to drive safely with an automatic. Driving with a stick shift, your multitasking ability would be pushed beyond its breaking point. Your safety would be jeopardy, as your fellow motorists.

-----Perfect example of the Alzheimer's thing, forgetting your signature. :-) Let's pretend you did it as an object lesson. :-)----
Ok, let's pretend that. lol

-----Great to hear from you. Would you happen to be the Mr. B who has posted a couple comments in the past?-----
Yep, same Mr. B! Name comes from a MST3K short. Stands for Mr. B Natural. Watch this short video on Youtube (2 small parts) and you will never forget Mr. B again. Trust me! Watch the 15 minutes and you'll never ever forget that name. lmao

[Moderator note: external website links removed, as is against posting policy]

July 19, 2009 - 3:02pm

Case in point -- in my comment, above, I MEANT to type "my fingers AREN'T co-ordinated like they used to be."

Hoo-boy. :-)

July 17, 2009 - 7:16pm


Multi-tasking? Yeah, that's taken a royal beating. I used to be a fantastic multi-tasker but no more.

Spelling is ok but I murder anything I'm typing because my fingers are co-ordinated like they used to be. I'll end up with letters coming down in the wrong order because the left finger will hit first instead of the right one .... like typing dyslexia.

I can't imagine it on an old-fashioned typewriter! Thank God for the backspace and delete keys.

I hadn't done any typing to speak of for a few years and when I started in earnest 3 months ago I was appalled to find it all looked like gibberish at first, because the fingers were all out of order. It's like they'd lost the ability and I didn't know at first if I would get it back ... like so many things ...

I've always driven automatics but my husband tried to teach me stick a couple years ago and it was one of a few things that precipitated a 2 month crash. He was patient enough, it wasn't him that made it stressful :-) but having to get my shifting arm in tune with using both feet -- wierdest feeling of being in mid-air when doing clutch and brake thing ... I am VERY reluctant for a second lesson. In fact -- I ain't gonna do a second one. :-)

Perfect example of the Alzheimer's thing, forgetting your signature. :-) Let's pretend you did it as an object lesson. :-)

Great to hear from you. Would you happen to be the Mr. B who has posted a couple comments in the past?

July 17, 2009 - 7:14pm
EmpowHER Guest

-----Chronic Fatigue Syndrome isn't like depression. It's more like Alzheimer's.
When I can't remember what you JUST told me a second ago ... ------

That hits the nail on the head!! Memory is just trashed, by CFS.

I watch tv programs and I follow the plot nicely; but have great difficulties remembering the names of the characters. If I pause the tivo and leave the room, it's likely I'll forget what I was even watching. Return and unpause the tivo; I instantly remember what I was viewing.

Alzheimer's is the perfect way to describe the memory loss.

I used to be able to spell; now I rely on google for spelling. Used to be able to type quickly (on a typewriter, few mistakes), now I have to concentrate and correct typos constantly (couldn't imagine using a typewriter, the cost of the whiteout would be astonomical lol). Used to love stick shift (couldn't stand an automatic transmission), trying to drive a stick shift would consume great amounts of mental concentration.

You didn't mention it, but I bet your multitasking ability is kaput. You might be able to concentrate on one thing very well, but having your concentration divided, will not be possible.

July 17, 2009 - 6:59pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I knew I was forgetting something.
no signature. Proofread it several times and still didn't pick upon it, till just now.
Mr. B

July 17, 2009 - 7:02pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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