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Simone is one of our beloved dogs, a black standard poodle. She weighs about 53 pounds and is as smart a dog as I’ve ever known. Part of her job, being a dog and all, is going in the car whenever she possibly can. In fact, she likes to hang out in the car, sleeping in the back seat while it’s parked in the garage in the hopes that she will “get lucky” and we’ll drive off and take her with us. (Right there, you have a lesson in persistence and positive thinking!)
The other day I went to the dentist in our two-seater sports car and she came along for the ride. She stands in the passenger seat, rear-end firmly planted against the chair-back, supporting her weight on her front legs, which rest on the front of the seat bottom.
Living in the mountains as we do, all of the roads are a series of curves; we consider a “straightaway” to be any stretch of road that goes longer than 100 yards without a bend. So off we go, Simone and I, riding the curvy roads on a beautiful day.
As you know, when you enter a bend in the road centrifugal force tends to throw you to one side of the car or the other, which would be a problem for a dog standing in a soft automobile seat. But not Simone. She stands there, watching the road ahead very intently. As we approach a turn, she leans in the direction of the turn so as to counter-balance the centrifugal force, thereby keeping her comfortable position in the seat.
Actually, it would be more accurate to say that she throws herself into the lean. I’m driving along trying to watch this dog throwing herself one way or the other before we even enter the turn, laughing out loud and trying to keep one eye on the road. She was so deep in concentration that she was oblivious to me.
Then it hit me. She is adapting to her circumstances. She is watching the road ahead, anticipating a change in her situation, planning a course of action, and then executing it when the change occurs. A curve to the right, then to the left, another left, two more rights; it doesn’t matter. She never loses her balance because she is keeping her eye on the road.
Pretty smart, huh?
Are you watching the road ahead? Are you anticipating changes based on what you see, and then acting accordingly? If not, you are setting yourself up for a boatload of stress.
What kinds of changes should you look for? The answer: it depends on your situation. Not everything in the world that can change will affect you personally. Since I come from the world of caregiving, here are some things you could anticipate. A change in your patient’s condition, or a new symptom of some sort. For example, imagine you are caring for someone who just had surgery.
What if you wake up the next day and discover a rash or redness or the wound is oozing some sort of disgusting fluid. What would you do (besides faint, that is)? If you hadn’t anticipated these things and been prepared, imagine the stress those symptoms would cause. Watching the road ahead, though, you would have anticipated some sort of complications and asked the doctor what to look for and what to do about it if something should happen.
Another thing you could watch for is changes in your insurance, or changes in the clinic, or roadwork that could affect your travel to the clinic.
I suggest that the boy scouts ALMOST have it right in their motto: “Be prepared.” I believe that they are referring to being prepared for anything. I encourage you to be prepared for the things that are most likely to cause you stress in YOUR CURRENT SITUATION, no matter what it is.
Watch those curves in the road, and then throw yourself into a position to deal with what’s coming. Simone knows how; now you do too.
This article is one in a series on coping strategies for patients and caregivers alike. For more thoughts on caregiving, coping strategies, reducing stress, and just plain fun subscribe to my free monthly newsletter at http://www.CaringAndCoping.com Need a speaker for an upcoming event? I have a program that will knock your socks off! Watch video clips at http://www.ThePPP.org/speaking/#handle
Add a Comment2 Comments
Your post made ME smile! Don't be too hard on your Collies, though, because making a right or left turn is nuch different than riding on winding mountain roads. I don't know how well Simone would be able to predict right and left turns onto different streets; she would have no way of anticipating them and, besides, those types of turns are 90 degrees whereas mountain roads are just twisties; mild back-and-forth motion by comparison.
Which leads me to this: some things just can't be anticipated and you still might lose your footing, but the exercise of thinking about the possible curves that could get thrown at you will help to straighten-out the twisties.
September 23, 2009 - 11:05amThis Comment
Well, I have collies, who, even after years of rides in the car, STILL lose their footing when we go around a curve. And I'm afraid I'm the same way. Having recently moved (again), I have lost my footing (again) as we settle into a new city, find new doctors, new vets, new favorite restaurants, and figure which exit to take off the freeway. Our daily routine is different and a little stressful right now. And the chaos caused by a house full of boxes doesn't help my ADD.
So I love your metaphor. Perhaps I need to spend a little time each evening figuring out what curves I might come up against during the next day, and plan for them so as not to be thrown off if they come to pass. I will ask myself WWSD? -- What would Simone do? -- and at the very least, it will make me smile.
September 23, 2009 - 8:44amThis Comment