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Big Surprise - Still Sick

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I am still sick. I’ve spent the entire day so far in bed. The couple of times I have tried to get up I got sick. This is just pathetic!

I have a headache from laying in bed and watching so much TV. My body hurts from cancer and lack of use. I just wish so bad that I wasn’t nauseated. I want to go to the pool or at least outside and get some fresh air. None of the medicine I have been taking is helping.

I am seriously considering telling the oncologist that we are going to have to change the chemo. I just don’t know if I can handle another round of this, especially if it’s going to get worse. I don’t want to even imagine what it would feel like if it was getting worse.

I am trying to imagine this poison killing the cancer inside me. A part of me is hoping it’s not working. I don’t want to stay on this chemo. This is no way of life. I just can’t believe that I am still sick. How long does this go on? It doesn’t make any sense. I just feel like I haven’t had any good news for so long. It’s been nine months. I have spent almost this entire year in the hospital. I’m wondering when I am going to finally have a mental breakdown. For some reason I have been able to move forward and tolerate everything fine so far. I guess I just feel like I have no choice. What other option do I have?

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Hi Melissa,
Sorry you are feeling so bad, hang in there please! You are the spirited warrior and you will win this fight! Now that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Big hug,

September 17, 2009 - 10:08am
EmpowHER Guest

Please hang in there! You have an amazing person with an amazing spirit! Are there anti-nausea meds they can give you? There are also a lot of naturopathic anti-nausea treatments you can try. I know there are ginger chews, eating natural ginger and small acupuncture balls.

September 17, 2009 - 9:51am

Melissa: I met you when you came into the EmpowHer office a few weeks ago. You showed so much courage and strength. Just get through it one day at a time or as my great grand mother used to say....how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. If any can kick this thing into remission you can, so hang in there and know that the entire EmpowHer staff is pulling for you and sending you our positive thoughts. Additionally, we are working hard on the next release named in your honor and can't wait to show it to you when it's complete.
Hang in there my friend....

September 16, 2009 - 8:06pm
EmpowHER Guest

My neice is a breast cancer stage 4 metastatic patient. She's 26. She was diagnosed at 23. I think sometimes tough love is the best medicine, so just so you know there is ALWAYS worse. You're right about having no other option. Unless you allow giving up to be an option. Angela hasn't and she's still here even though every doctor says she shouldn't be. She's been miserable and in absolute terrible pain with no repreive, but she's also had a lot of fun, and accomplished a lot no one thought she would. She's getting married saturday. There's pain, and self pity, and anger . . . but you have to have hope and the will or you're never going to get back out of your bed.

September 16, 2009 - 4:34pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.