There's one in every crowd, and it's usually the kid with the least self esteem trying to prove something to people who couldn't care less. My boys were taught to not strike back with fists, but to baffle with B.S. It throws the bully off balance by not getting the reaction he's expecting.
One day, my sons were getting off the school bus and one of the neighborhood kids, a real pain in the rear, decided to target my older son with the most foul language I've ever heard. The bus driver couldn't control the kid, but told him to get off at the same stop as my boys, which happened to be directly across the street from our house. So, since I was working from home at the time, I got to hear all the commotion and saw the kid grab my son, who was a year younger and a bit smaller, by the back of his pants.
My son got out of the kid's grip and whipped around in a face-off stance, then came up with some off-the wall question that made everyone else around crack up in laughter. The bully had no response, by then I was standing across the street and seen by the kid (whose mom was an acquaintance of mine), and his buddies dragged him away. My son was known by his principals and teachers for having the sort of "Grasshopper" approach to conflict. It didn't always save him from being the receiving end of physical blows, but his calm and control and that he never struck back did make an impression on the folks who mattered. The bullies inevitably ended up getting expelled. Oh, and that kid on the bus - his parents showed up at my door claiming that my son started a fight with their son. It just so happened that my son's friends were there to tell them otherwise. Their kid wasn't seen on the bus again (and the parents later divorced, leading me to believe there was something behind their son's behavior).
The moral of the story is that, you can reinforce how much you love your child all you want to. BUT, they still need to know that they can hold their own against their pesky adversaries at school in a non-violent manner. These days, those adversaries could be carrying weapons. That is an unfortunate reality.
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There's one in every crowd, and it's usually the kid with the least self esteem trying to prove something to people who couldn't care less. My boys were taught to not strike back with fists, but to baffle with B.S. It throws the bully off balance by not getting the reaction he's expecting.
One day, my sons were getting off the school bus and one of the neighborhood kids, a real pain in the rear, decided to target my older son with the most foul language I've ever heard. The bus driver couldn't control the kid, but told him to get off at the same stop as my boys, which happened to be directly across the street from our house. So, since I was working from home at the time, I got to hear all the commotion and saw the kid grab my son, who was a year younger and a bit smaller, by the back of his pants.
My son got out of the kid's grip and whipped around in a face-off stance, then came up with some off-the wall question that made everyone else around crack up in laughter. The bully had no response, by then I was standing across the street and seen by the kid (whose mom was an acquaintance of mine), and his buddies dragged him away. My son was known by his principals and teachers for having the sort of "Grasshopper" approach to conflict. It didn't always save him from being the receiving end of physical blows, but his calm and control and that he never struck back did make an impression on the folks who mattered. The bullies inevitably ended up getting expelled. Oh, and that kid on the bus - his parents showed up at my door claiming that my son started a fight with their son. It just so happened that my son's friends were there to tell them otherwise. Their kid wasn't seen on the bus again (and the parents later divorced, leading me to believe there was something behind their son's behavior).
The moral of the story is that, you can reinforce how much you love your child all you want to. BUT, they still need to know that they can hold their own against their pesky adversaries at school in a non-violent manner. These days, those adversaries could be carrying weapons. That is an unfortunate reality.
July 23, 2008 - 4:55pmThis Comment
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