I was dianogsed with an eating disorder when I was 14 and admited in a psych hospital, for other reasons, and have been struggling ever sense. While I do not go for days and days with out eating I still cling to old habbits you could say. I rarely eat breakfast unless I am making it for both my daughter and boyfriend and dinner is the same way. At both I tend to eat about half of an adverae adult helping and fight with myself at night to not go tot he kitchen and get a snack. Its usually worse when I am depressed. At those times I tend to often forget I havent eaten and go like that for two or three days and return to what I have come to learn is dysfunctional eating. On other occasions the opposit is true I will be depressed and binge eat to an excessive amount then not eat for two or 3 days afterwards. I have to point out that I tend to eat quite healthy compared to adverage people and work out regularly so its not like I am grabbing a bag or chips or carton of ice cream.
On one had I hate that I am this way because I dont want my daughter (she is 5) to develope the same habbits. She is already underweight from being a micro-preemie and at 5 years old is only 32 pounds. I hear her occasionally say things like she is fat and it makes me want to cry.
At the same time no matter how well I do for a while once the depression hits or something is bothering me enough to where I dwell on it all day my eating habbits go right back to what seems safe and controlable.
I have been actually been reading a really interesting book on eating disorders by Amiee Liu called "Gaining" and it has given me some insight on reasons eating disorders happen.
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I was dianogsed with an eating disorder when I was 14 and admited in a psych hospital, for other reasons, and have been struggling ever sense. While I do not go for days and days with out eating I still cling to old habbits you could say. I rarely eat breakfast unless I am making it for both my daughter and boyfriend and dinner is the same way. At both I tend to eat about half of an adverae adult helping and fight with myself at night to not go tot he kitchen and get a snack. Its usually worse when I am depressed. At those times I tend to often forget I havent eaten and go like that for two or three days and return to what I have come to learn is dysfunctional eating. On other occasions the opposit is true I will be depressed and binge eat to an excessive amount then not eat for two or 3 days afterwards. I have to point out that I tend to eat quite healthy compared to adverage people and work out regularly so its not like I am grabbing a bag or chips or carton of ice cream.
On one had I hate that I am this way because I dont want my daughter (she is 5) to develope the same habbits. She is already underweight from being a micro-preemie and at 5 years old is only 32 pounds. I hear her occasionally say things like she is fat and it makes me want to cry.
At the same time no matter how well I do for a while once the depression hits or something is bothering me enough to where I dwell on it all day my eating habbits go right back to what seems safe and controlable.
I have been actually been reading a really interesting book on eating disorders by Amiee Liu called "Gaining" and it has given me some insight on reasons eating disorders happen.
June 6, 2010 - 2:20pmThis Comment
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