What a wrenching story. What a horribly difficult decision to make.
I have to think that a parent who has watched their child endure chemotherapy and all those surgeries has a good sense of the child's mental capacity and level of maturity. So many ill children seem to have a wisdom beyond their years. I'm reminded of little Mattie Stepanek, who was so very disabled and yet accomplished so very much in his short life. Some children like that seem to have spiritual access to almost a different plane of comprehension about what's worthwhile in life. Especially when compared to their peers, who at 13 are just thinking about clothes, school and boys, and haven't had to make life-altering decisions yet.
To take a child away from a family signifies to me that being with that family in some way compromises the safety of the child. If these parents hadn't helped her fight this hard for this long, perhaps that argument would have more teeth. But they've seen her through the hardest of times, and now they are accepting what has to be devastating to them -- the possibility that her decision may mean she is with them for less time. Clearly, they are hoping to get her some better time, by letting her be with family and friends. They are letting her live instead of fighting for more life.
I don't know what I'd do. I think it must depend on every child, and every parent, and what they know about one another Thirteen is certainly too young to have to make a decision like that, but I have to have faith that the parents want her to live more than anyone in the world does, and they are standing by her. Through their tears, I'm sure. It would be hard for me to not say, "No, you're having the surgery and that's that. When you're 18 you can decide for yourself." I don't know if I'd have the ability to let her decide.
Perhaps she'll fool all the experts and be just fine. My fingers are crossed.
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What a wrenching story. What a horribly difficult decision to make.
I have to think that a parent who has watched their child endure chemotherapy and all those surgeries has a good sense of the child's mental capacity and level of maturity. So many ill children seem to have a wisdom beyond their years. I'm reminded of little Mattie Stepanek, who was so very disabled and yet accomplished so very much in his short life. Some children like that seem to have spiritual access to almost a different plane of comprehension about what's worthwhile in life. Especially when compared to their peers, who at 13 are just thinking about clothes, school and boys, and haven't had to make life-altering decisions yet.
To take a child away from a family signifies to me that being with that family in some way compromises the safety of the child. If these parents hadn't helped her fight this hard for this long, perhaps that argument would have more teeth. But they've seen her through the hardest of times, and now they are accepting what has to be devastating to them -- the possibility that her decision may mean she is with them for less time. Clearly, they are hoping to get her some better time, by letting her be with family and friends. They are letting her live instead of fighting for more life.
I don't know what I'd do. I think it must depend on every child, and every parent, and what they know about one another Thirteen is certainly too young to have to make a decision like that, but I have to have faith that the parents want her to live more than anyone in the world does, and they are standing by her. Through their tears, I'm sure. It would be hard for me to not say, "No, you're having the surgery and that's that. When you're 18 you can decide for yourself." I don't know if I'd have the ability to let her decide.
Perhaps she'll fool all the experts and be just fine. My fingers are crossed.
November 14, 2008 - 9:25amThis Comment
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