Pamela DeLoatch, a freelance writter published an article last Mar 20, 2008 on this topic, her focus was women and she stated that women in particular find it difficult to blend their desire to help and connect with others with the need to establish limits by saying no.
Here are some tips for Saying No
1. Don’t rush to answer a request. If you feel pressure to make a decision immediately, you may regret the decision. Instead, say that you’ll first check your calendar, or say you’ll see if it fits into your schedule and will let them know.
2. Determine if you really want to fulfill the request or if you’re feeling guilty if you don’t. Figure out what you fear will happen if you say no. Is it a loss of relationship? Disappointing the other person? How important this is to you and how realistic is the worse case scenario? These questions will help you figure out whether you’ll be happier saying yes or saying no.
3. Once you’ve decided, give the answer promptly. The longer you wait, the more uncomfortable it feels for both parties.
4. “My answer is no,” is a complete response. It can be said with kindness, or followed by a “but thank you for asking me.” But it does not have to have an apology or an extended explanation. “This doesn’t work for me,” is reason enough.
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Pamela DeLoatch, a freelance writter published an article last Mar 20, 2008 on this topic, her focus was women and she stated that women in particular find it difficult to blend their desire to help and connect with others with the need to establish limits by saying no.
Here are some tips for Saying No
December 2, 2008 - 1:56am1. Don’t rush to answer a request. If you feel pressure to make a decision immediately, you may regret the decision. Instead, say that you’ll first check your calendar, or say you’ll see if it fits into your schedule and will let them know.
2. Determine if you really want to fulfill the request or if you’re feeling guilty if you don’t. Figure out what you fear will happen if you say no. Is it a loss of relationship? Disappointing the other person? How important this is to you and how realistic is the worse case scenario? These questions will help you figure out whether you’ll be happier saying yes or saying no.
3. Once you’ve decided, give the answer promptly. The longer you wait, the more uncomfortable it feels for both parties.
4. “My answer is no,” is a complete response. It can be said with kindness, or followed by a “but thank you for asking me.” But it does not have to have an apology or an extended explanation. “This doesn’t work for me,” is reason enough.
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