I wonder when in life this really kicks in for us. There's a point when we are kids where we think the universe revolves around us anyway, and can't imagine that anyone could be displeased with us. Somewhere along the way that morphs into the opposite: that only positive vibes from others become important, and we sort of take a back seat to our own opinion of ourselves.
For me, I think it was being a tall, awkward kid with curly hair and glasses who desperately wanted to fit in with other kids in an era of straight hair and bellbottoms. For others, maybe it was working to please a parent or a teacher; for still others, perhaps they picked it up from watching a parent try to please others in THEIR own life.
I'm thinking about what I'm seeking approval on in my life right now:
-- that I'm still a great person though I'm overweight
-- that the Christmas gifts I choose will make people happy
-- that I do a good job at my work
-- That the decisions I've made regarding my family have been sound
Those are just a few examples. Even though I know, inside, that these things are true for me, I also know that another person's criticism or displeasure can make me rethink nearly anything. I'm not really sure why that is. When do we learn to second-guess these things we take so seriously to begin with?
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I wonder when in life this really kicks in for us. There's a point when we are kids where we think the universe revolves around us anyway, and can't imagine that anyone could be displeased with us. Somewhere along the way that morphs into the opposite: that only positive vibes from others become important, and we sort of take a back seat to our own opinion of ourselves.
For me, I think it was being a tall, awkward kid with curly hair and glasses who desperately wanted to fit in with other kids in an era of straight hair and bellbottoms. For others, maybe it was working to please a parent or a teacher; for still others, perhaps they picked it up from watching a parent try to please others in THEIR own life.
I'm thinking about what I'm seeking approval on in my life right now:
-- that I'm still a great person though I'm overweight
-- that the Christmas gifts I choose will make people happy
-- that I do a good job at my work
-- That the decisions I've made regarding my family have been sound
Those are just a few examples. Even though I know, inside, that these things are true for me, I also know that another person's criticism or displeasure can make me rethink nearly anything. I'm not really sure why that is. When do we learn to second-guess these things we take so seriously to begin with?
December 3, 2008 - 9:17amThis Comment
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