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Every kid is different. My two boys weren't hitters; but, my daughter, the youngest, was. The boys weren't allowed to retaliate if she, a toddler at the time, passed by and slapped one of them "upside" the head. It didn't seem fair to the boys, but they had to learn that hitting is not allowed. My daughter eventually dropped the habit sometime after someone at pre-school hit her. She apparently told the antagonist that hitting wasn't allowed, lol!

When the boys were in high school, they were still restrained and reserved, and would rather walk away than engage in confrontation. My older son was physically attacked in the hall by a school bully. His grade level principal witnessed the event and called me to praise my son for never returning a blow and standing his own ground, and not even saying a word. That same son was also a brown belt in shao lin do and trained in the tai chi sword form, making him that much more disciplined and cognizant of the potential of harming the other kid.

It can be a tough call, for sure, when you're trying to respond (as opposed to react) to your child's apparent call for attention, while still trying to teach him/her that certain behavior is not acceptable. If time out doesn't work, you just have to keep trying something else until you find the action that works. Sometimes, it's as simple as a physical activity.

For unruly behavior, my mom always said "hit them in the pocketbook" - meaning, teach them the meaning of consequence by docking them something they wanted or wanted to do. This goes along with the idea that practical methods work better with kids.

All the best with your perfectly normal (and probably irresistibly cute) son!

December 10, 2008 - 6:22pm

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