My Darling Groom and I have a rule to never go to bed angry. It's not always an easy rule to follow, because, sometimes, one or the other of us doesn't know what has made the other mad enough to clam up or is willing to say. I've also learned the "man" trick of his forgetting completely what happened the night before and acting like nothing did happen (very annoying).
We're all human and prone to terribly human behaviors. I think that couples have to learn how to "fight," to be able to disagree without being "ugly" or unreasonable. Basically, learn to communicate. Men handle (or don't) things differently from women (who also don't). If you're mature enough to understand this, and can deal with it, your relationship should be able to survive the typical, normal, occasional spats - and even the not so typical, big issues.
One thing we do, even if one or the other of us is mad at each other, is always kiss each other goodnight. That little gesture often relieves whatever tension there may be. 9 times out of 10, that tension was caused by something external to us that just sent someone off onto the wrong flight path, but we're not willing - or able - to admit it.
Granted, there are people in this world who simply don't belong together. However, my personal opinion is that more people really do, they just have to learn HOW to belong together.
There was a period of time during our marriage when we had terrible fights. At the time, the world was coming to an end. Looking back, we were both just going through some really hard emotional times (family illnesses, divorce, those sorts of things) and taking things out on each other. My Darling Groom is at once my Rock of Gibraltar and my Great Wall. I can only imagine what he thinks I am, LOL!
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My Darling Groom and I have a rule to never go to bed angry. It's not always an easy rule to follow, because, sometimes, one or the other of us doesn't know what has made the other mad enough to clam up or is willing to say. I've also learned the "man" trick of his forgetting completely what happened the night before and acting like nothing did happen (very annoying).
We're all human and prone to terribly human behaviors. I think that couples have to learn how to "fight," to be able to disagree without being "ugly" or unreasonable. Basically, learn to communicate. Men handle (or don't) things differently from women (who also don't). If you're mature enough to understand this, and can deal with it, your relationship should be able to survive the typical, normal, occasional spats - and even the not so typical, big issues.
One thing we do, even if one or the other of us is mad at each other, is always kiss each other goodnight. That little gesture often relieves whatever tension there may be. 9 times out of 10, that tension was caused by something external to us that just sent someone off onto the wrong flight path, but we're not willing - or able - to admit it.
Granted, there are people in this world who simply don't belong together. However, my personal opinion is that more people really do, they just have to learn HOW to belong together.
There was a period of time during our marriage when we had terrible fights. At the time, the world was coming to an end. Looking back, we were both just going through some really hard emotional times (family illnesses, divorce, those sorts of things) and taking things out on each other. My Darling Groom is at once my Rock of Gibraltar and my Great Wall. I can only imagine what he thinks I am, LOL!
December 29, 2008 - 5:19pmThis Comment
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