As someone who's never had children, I find this fascinating.
There's actually two threads going here. One thread is that women don't get enough information about something that is important, medical and requires lots of decision-making. The second is that women second-guess one another and the decisions they did make about their own births.
In regards to the first, I find it nearly insane that any pregnant woman today doesn't get all the information she wants from her doctors and other health professionals. I guess in my naivete I would expect that doctors would embrace a patient who asked questions and wanted lots of information; it would seem that that patient would be far more prepared should anything go wrong or need new decisions made. If I was a doctor, I think I would far prefer an informed patient than one who doesn't know what's going on. I find it astonishing that women who know they have to have a C-section feel that there is an entire level of information they don't have acccess to unless they find other women who've gone through the same thing. My heart goes out to you.
I've never understood, though I see it happen in many ways, why we women are so unkind to other women when they differ from us. I saw it happen over and over again in the workplace. You see it when some women work outside the home and others choose to be fulltime moms. You see it when some women can or choose to breast feed, and others cannot or choose not to breast feed. It seems inappropriate at best and cruel at worst to tell a woman (up front or indirectly) that she is somehow a better or worse person because of a decision that was right for her and her child at the time.
I'm glad to see this lively discussion. I admire all of you who found your way through the maze, and Joanna, I think your offer is particularly generous.
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As someone who's never had children, I find this fascinating.
There's actually two threads going here. One thread is that women don't get enough information about something that is important, medical and requires lots of decision-making. The second is that women second-guess one another and the decisions they did make about their own births.
In regards to the first, I find it nearly insane that any pregnant woman today doesn't get all the information she wants from her doctors and other health professionals. I guess in my naivete I would expect that doctors would embrace a patient who asked questions and wanted lots of information; it would seem that that patient would be far more prepared should anything go wrong or need new decisions made. If I was a doctor, I think I would far prefer an informed patient than one who doesn't know what's going on. I find it astonishing that women who know they have to have a C-section feel that there is an entire level of information they don't have acccess to unless they find other women who've gone through the same thing. My heart goes out to you.
I've never understood, though I see it happen in many ways, why we women are so unkind to other women when they differ from us. I saw it happen over and over again in the workplace. You see it when some women work outside the home and others choose to be fulltime moms. You see it when some women can or choose to breast feed, and others cannot or choose not to breast feed. It seems inappropriate at best and cruel at worst to tell a woman (up front or indirectly) that she is somehow a better or worse person because of a decision that was right for her and her child at the time.
I'm glad to see this lively discussion. I admire all of you who found your way through the maze, and Joanna, I think your offer is particularly generous.
December 31, 2008 - 9:32amThis Comment
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