I am there! Married 30 years, and haven't had emotional
intimacy let alone physical intimacy, predictable affection,
kindness, respect, or appreciation in forever it seems. My spouse too is disabled, a bad back and severe depression. I have stood by and been emotionally and psychologically abused for years, while I have done the lion share of everything. I have allowed it too happen, (my role).
He became so codependant the last couple of years, it finally drained my bones, blood and spirit. All the passive aggression and condescending remarks, the shirked responsibilities towards me, our home, he drained me dry. Basically he has abandoned me. Yesterday, after giving him a letter telling him how I felt, and telling him I can't live with him anymore he left. It was weird; my first feeling was fear, anxiety, but didn't I get what I asked for?
Not really. Not that way, right? All he thinks of is himself. I decided after calling the sheriff, to wait 48 hours if he doesn't ring me. He's playing the game now of, "I'll show her"! He's been gone over 24 hours, not answering his cell, (as of course I am concerned about his welfare). I just want to know he's ok, or course. I still love him. Common courtesy, healthy relating, owning his actions, is just not on his radar screen. He stopped making efforts to promote the marriage for years. It can get real lonely.
I just know we need to find a modern, creative way to stay married, (I am totally dependant on his income).
And, for now, I can't live with him, at least for a chunk of time. I must detox, recharge, regroup, redefine what I want now.
Coming home after my Bible study last night to the empty house was strange; I felt all sorts of emotions--guilt, sadness mostly. But the more I pray, and think on it, fear has kept me in this unhappy situation too long. It is time for me to let go of ALL my fears, and stand on God's promises, and hand all my marital issues over too Him. I have done ALL I can to help my spouse; my helping him so much has created way too much dependence upon me, keeping him from functioning as best that he can. Remember gals, we are NOT super heros! If we don't take care of ourselves, we are not honoring ourselves, God, or our loved ones. It has helped me greatly to be around positive, loving friends, and knowing we can decide for ourselves when enough is enough. God bless everyone going through these times! I hope to sleep better tonight.
Any creative living style ideas, please, please comment.
Blessings and thanks!
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I am there! Married 30 years, and haven't had emotional
March 20, 2015 - 8:25pmintimacy let alone physical intimacy, predictable affection,
kindness, respect, or appreciation in forever it seems. My spouse too is disabled, a bad back and severe depression. I have stood by and been emotionally and psychologically abused for years, while I have done the lion share of everything. I have allowed it too happen, (my role).
He became so codependant the last couple of years, it finally drained my bones, blood and spirit. All the passive aggression and condescending remarks, the shirked responsibilities towards me, our home, he drained me dry. Basically he has abandoned me. Yesterday, after giving him a letter telling him how I felt, and telling him I can't live with him anymore he left. It was weird; my first feeling was fear, anxiety, but didn't I get what I asked for?
Not really. Not that way, right? All he thinks of is himself. I decided after calling the sheriff, to wait 48 hours if he doesn't ring me. He's playing the game now of, "I'll show her"! He's been gone over 24 hours, not answering his cell, (as of course I am concerned about his welfare). I just want to know he's ok, or course. I still love him. Common courtesy, healthy relating, owning his actions, is just not on his radar screen. He stopped making efforts to promote the marriage for years. It can get real lonely.
I just know we need to find a modern, creative way to stay married, (I am totally dependant on his income).
And, for now, I can't live with him, at least for a chunk of time. I must detox, recharge, regroup, redefine what I want now.
Coming home after my Bible study last night to the empty house was strange; I felt all sorts of emotions--guilt, sadness mostly. But the more I pray, and think on it, fear has kept me in this unhappy situation too long. It is time for me to let go of ALL my fears, and stand on God's promises, and hand all my marital issues over too Him. I have done ALL I can to help my spouse; my helping him so much has created way too much dependence upon me, keeping him from functioning as best that he can. Remember gals, we are NOT super heros! If we don't take care of ourselves, we are not honoring ourselves, God, or our loved ones. It has helped me greatly to be around positive, loving friends, and knowing we can decide for ourselves when enough is enough. God bless everyone going through these times! I hope to sleep better tonight.
Any creative living style ideas, please, please comment.
Blessings and thanks!
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