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I've also lived 5 years with a spouse who has terminal cancer. It has been all about him. He has opted out of being a dad and hardly talks to his 2 daughters and never does anything for them. He puts all his efforts in trying to keep working ( he's a workaholic). I organised his medical treatments, looked for life saving procedures and kept him going far longer than his prognosis as I have a medical background. I feel like a sole parent and I work as well. He's never even said thank you or has done anything for me ( by that I mean even offered to make me a tea). I've run out of giving and of love and planning to leave. He may only have a few years left, but I also feel like I'm dying inside. On the outside people don't really know how hard it is to put your needs on hold for years. So all I really want to say is I think I get some if how you feel