It is so sad to see so many people struggling with illness on these pages and the caregivers fighting to 'do the right thing'- feeling guilty for resenting the situation they're in and struggling to redefine relationships which are no longer fulfilling. In every post there is pain and suffering evident on both sides. Those who are sick feel powerless, angry and helpless, and those who are trying to care for the other- feel just as powerless, angry and helpless. Dealing with chronic illness is purgatory for all involved and seems insurmountable. I have a sick spouse who is too ill to work diagnosed with both cancer and advanced kidney disease, three children, a tough job and not much of a social life outside of the daily grind. Why do I stay? I think it is a deep seated sense of morality, compassion and love for the family unit as a whole. We don't have a relationship that could be considered normal in any way and the illness has changed both of us. Certainly this wasn't what I expected when we married 20 years ago. I am angry about it and it is unfair- but it's unfair on him and the children too.
I think we should all applaud our collective resilience and remember to find the light and fun where we can. Be good and kind to yourselves and keep hope alive. Life is a precious and wonderful thing. Don't waste it.
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It is so sad to see so many people struggling with illness on these pages and the caregivers fighting to 'do the right thing'- feeling guilty for resenting the situation they're in and struggling to redefine relationships which are no longer fulfilling. In every post there is pain and suffering evident on both sides. Those who are sick feel powerless, angry and helpless, and those who are trying to care for the other- feel just as powerless, angry and helpless. Dealing with chronic illness is purgatory for all involved and seems insurmountable. I have a sick spouse who is too ill to work diagnosed with both cancer and advanced kidney disease, three children, a tough job and not much of a social life outside of the daily grind. Why do I stay? I think it is a deep seated sense of morality, compassion and love for the family unit as a whole. We don't have a relationship that could be considered normal in any way and the illness has changed both of us. Certainly this wasn't what I expected when we married 20 years ago. I am angry about it and it is unfair- but it's unfair on him and the children too.
I think we should all applaud our collective resilience and remember to find the light and fun where we can. Be good and kind to yourselves and keep hope alive. Life is a precious and wonderful thing. Don't waste it.
November 21, 2015 - 1:07amThis Comment
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