Hello everyone!
I am glad I have found this site.
I read most of the comments here.
My situation is a bit different. I have married from the beginning with a cancer survivor, who was in the end of his oncology treatment and also he is not living in is own country, he came to my country for the treatment.
I met him, fell in love with him chased him basically and he continuously warned me that it is going to be really hard living with a sick man. The final stage of his treatment is to do a surgery so he can walk properly, I actually married to help him to do a surgery because he can do it for free in my country.
I know he loves me I feel it and he shows it to me. In the mean time we are waiting for his surgery , every day his situation gets worse. When he takes painkillers he is calm. But he always uplifts the dosage and sometime he does a break from them and when he does he is angry all the time , he tries no to show it, but when I say something he doesn't like he think I criticizes him or wants sm from him and he loses control and goes crazy, when he goes crazy I also start to yell and become hysterical, sometimes he says sm to me like that I am not doing nothing for him and just live my own life and I start to go crazy because it really hurts for me, I am trying my best to overcome myself and to be there for him. He constantly says I am not capable to live with a sick man and I am not patient enough. It has come to the point we fought once, he went crazy on the road, once he broke furniture in the house, and once I was hysterical and he was a bit violent to me he didn't hit me but he grabbed me really hard I felt pain, I thought he is going to hurt me but then he let go. He felt really bad about it so he left back to his country for a while said he lost all control .
every time we fight I am telling him I am leaving him but in the end I understand how much I love him and we make up. I also lost my temper a few times and it was my fault from the begin with, but since his situation got worse we fight more and more, I also don't have sm to compare to, I don't know how he was before.
I feel I can bare everything except when he is angry and mad at the world and at me for nothing, my instant reaction to that is protection and I am starting to be mad also. another problem he is drinking a lot, he does nothing all day and he says that the alcohol ease his pain and helps him forget his situation, he drinks only when he doesn't take painkillers.Also he waits for the operation and we don't know when it is going to be , it can take even a year until then (because of some bureaucracy problems). It means he has no sight when his pain is going to stop. sometimes I feel maybe he take things out of proportions' because I know his situation is much better then it could have been, he bit cancer and now he is waiting for a surgery to help him improve life quality. I know I chose this and to live with him but I am loosing my powers. I know if I'll leave him I'll fell I am leaving a man in distress and in pain when he needs me the most and of course I love him so much I would miss him every day, I know he is a good man.
His situation is really complex, he is not on his own country, depends on his family to support him with money (cause I can't support us both), waiting for surgery that we don't know when it is going to be, he constantly feels he can't give me what I need and he feels bad about it. He always says to me why I need that and I should go and find a healthy man and have a bright future.
I don't know how to be more patient and to build a wall not to react to him when he is angry
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Hello everyone!
May 29, 2017 - 7:25amI am glad I have found this site.
I read most of the comments here.
My situation is a bit different. I have married from the beginning with a cancer survivor, who was in the end of his oncology treatment and also he is not living in is own country, he came to my country for the treatment.
I met him, fell in love with him chased him basically and he continuously warned me that it is going to be really hard living with a sick man. The final stage of his treatment is to do a surgery so he can walk properly, I actually married to help him to do a surgery because he can do it for free in my country.
I know he loves me I feel it and he shows it to me. In the mean time we are waiting for his surgery , every day his situation gets worse. When he takes painkillers he is calm. But he always uplifts the dosage and sometime he does a break from them and when he does he is angry all the time , he tries no to show it, but when I say something he doesn't like he think I criticizes him or wants sm from him and he loses control and goes crazy, when he goes crazy I also start to yell and become hysterical, sometimes he says sm to me like that I am not doing nothing for him and just live my own life and I start to go crazy because it really hurts for me, I am trying my best to overcome myself and to be there for him. He constantly says I am not capable to live with a sick man and I am not patient enough. It has come to the point we fought once, he went crazy on the road, once he broke furniture in the house, and once I was hysterical and he was a bit violent to me he didn't hit me but he grabbed me really hard I felt pain, I thought he is going to hurt me but then he let go. He felt really bad about it so he left back to his country for a while said he lost all control .
every time we fight I am telling him I am leaving him but in the end I understand how much I love him and we make up. I also lost my temper a few times and it was my fault from the begin with, but since his situation got worse we fight more and more, I also don't have sm to compare to, I don't know how he was before.
I feel I can bare everything except when he is angry and mad at the world and at me for nothing, my instant reaction to that is protection and I am starting to be mad also. another problem he is drinking a lot, he does nothing all day and he says that the alcohol ease his pain and helps him forget his situation, he drinks only when he doesn't take painkillers.Also he waits for the operation and we don't know when it is going to be , it can take even a year until then (because of some bureaucracy problems). It means he has no sight when his pain is going to stop. sometimes I feel maybe he take things out of proportions' because I know his situation is much better then it could have been, he bit cancer and now he is waiting for a surgery to help him improve life quality. I know I chose this and to live with him but I am loosing my powers. I know if I'll leave him I'll fell I am leaving a man in distress and in pain when he needs me the most and of course I love him so much I would miss him every day, I know he is a good man.
His situation is really complex, he is not on his own country, depends on his family to support him with money (cause I can't support us both), waiting for surgery that we don't know when it is going to be, he constantly feels he can't give me what I need and he feels bad about it. He always says to me why I need that and I should go and find a healthy man and have a bright future.
I don't know how to be more patient and to build a wall not to react to him when he is angry
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