This is a response to the " 37 year old lady, highly educated and healthy" upon which this post was started. I found your story very moving and relate completely to your situation. To consider leaving a chronically Ill partner is a terrible position to be put in. I am also 37 and have been with my partner for 13 years. He's been sick for the last 10 with multiple different illnesses, ranging from cluster migraines, chronic depression, testicular cancer, chronic intestinal and abdominal damage due to operations, cancer of the kidney, removal of said kidney and just yesterday he received the diagnosis of bladder cancer. He's 51 years old. To say he's been through it, is putting it mildly. I was 26 years old when he got the first bout of cancer. My life has been put on hold, it feels, numerous times. But I was willing to do it cause I loved him. But this time I just can't seem to deal with it. I keep imagining how the new treatments are going to lessen his already depleting life quality. All I can think about is leaving. I know that that's a totally normal reaction to have. But it still seems unimaginable to leave someone you love. How can you know if your relationship is longer working, when chronic illnesses bring relationship problems and advice to a whole other level. Even most therapists would have a hard job helping you through it. I still would recommend one though. They are definitely a good sounding board for your thoughts, worries, fears and doubts. In the end they have your interests at heart, which is what really matters. That's right, YOU matter. YOU are worth it. That would me my only advice. It's easy to forget your place when illnesses take over your partners life. In the end, it's also your life. What evvironment do you want and need. When you answer that question, then the next step, is to go get it. Whether that means leaving or staying. i hope this helps you.
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This is a response to the " 37 year old lady, highly educated and healthy" upon which this post was started. I found your story very moving and relate completely to your situation. To consider leaving a chronically Ill partner is a terrible position to be put in. I am also 37 and have been with my partner for 13 years. He's been sick for the last 10 with multiple different illnesses, ranging from cluster migraines, chronic depression, testicular cancer, chronic intestinal and abdominal damage due to operations, cancer of the kidney, removal of said kidney and just yesterday he received the diagnosis of bladder cancer. He's 51 years old. To say he's been through it, is putting it mildly. I was 26 years old when he got the first bout of cancer. My life has been put on hold, it feels, numerous times. But I was willing to do it cause I loved him. But this time I just can't seem to deal with it. I keep imagining how the new treatments are going to lessen his already depleting life quality. All I can think about is leaving. I know that that's a totally normal reaction to have. But it still seems unimaginable to leave someone you love. How can you know if your relationship is longer working, when chronic illnesses bring relationship problems and advice to a whole other level. Even most therapists would have a hard job helping you through it. I still would recommend one though. They are definitely a good sounding board for your thoughts, worries, fears and doubts. In the end they have your interests at heart, which is what really matters. That's right, YOU matter. YOU are worth it. That would me my only advice. It's easy to forget your place when illnesses take over your partners life. In the end, it's also your life. What evvironment do you want and need. When you answer that question, then the next step, is to go get it. Whether that means leaving or staying. i hope this helps you.
May 31, 2017 - 11:58amThis Comment
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