Anon, in addition to Alison's great questions, I would also ask your age, and whether it's possible that you could be entering or be in perimenopause?
Perimenopause can begin 8 to 10 years before actual menopause does. It's very typical to have a loss of libido as a symptom.
Some people notice the onset of perimenopausal symptoms in their 30s; others, not until their 40s. Here's a page from the Mayo Clinic on it if you think it might be part of the issue:
Alison is right -- what you're experiencing is very common, whether it's because of the home front or because of something biological, or a combination. Three kids is a lot of joy, but it's also a whole lot of work and a whole lot of responsibility. If you feel that the division of those things isn't fair, that resentment can affect your libido as well.
Here's a page from Discovery Health on reclaiming lost libido; it does a great job of going into the multiple and complicated reasons that this can happen:
Here are a couple of paragraphs from this story that might make you feel better:
"According to the findings of a NIH-sponsored survey published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (Feb. 10, 1999) 43 percent of women report recognizable sexual dysfunction. Problems range from not being able to have orgasms to having no sexual desire at all.
"In fact, 35 percent of the estimated 40 to 50 million women who have sexual dysfunction have no or low sexual desire — what the experts call hypoactive sex drive, or HSD for short. By definition, women with HSD lack sexual fantasies, suddenly find sex uninteresting, and rarely masturbate. "They feel neutered — nothing turns them on," says Susan Kellogg-Spadt, director of sexual medicine at the Pelvic Floor Institute, Graduate Hospital in Philadelphia.
"While women with HSD may not feel deprived without sex, a defining feature is that lack of libido causes distress: "I worry about losing my husband and am sad to be missing out on this natural — and pleasurable — part of living," says McHugh.
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Anon, in addition to Alison's great questions, I would also ask your age, and whether it's possible that you could be entering or be in perimenopause?
Perimenopause can begin 8 to 10 years before actual menopause does. It's very typical to have a loss of libido as a symptom.
Some people notice the onset of perimenopausal symptoms in their 30s; others, not until their 40s. Here's a page from the Mayo Clinic on it if you think it might be part of the issue:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/perimenopause/DS00554
Alison is right -- what you're experiencing is very common, whether it's because of the home front or because of something biological, or a combination. Three kids is a lot of joy, but it's also a whole lot of work and a whole lot of responsibility. If you feel that the division of those things isn't fair, that resentment can affect your libido as well.
Here's a page from Discovery Health on reclaiming lost libido; it does a great job of going into the multiple and complicated reasons that this can happen:
http://health.discovery.com/centers/womens/sexualhealth/healthysex.html
Here are a couple of paragraphs from this story that might make you feel better:
"According to the findings of a NIH-sponsored survey published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (Feb. 10, 1999) 43 percent of women report recognizable sexual dysfunction. Problems range from not being able to have orgasms to having no sexual desire at all.
"In fact, 35 percent of the estimated 40 to 50 million women who have sexual dysfunction have no or low sexual desire — what the experts call hypoactive sex drive, or HSD for short. By definition, women with HSD lack sexual fantasies, suddenly find sex uninteresting, and rarely masturbate. "They feel neutered — nothing turns them on," says Susan Kellogg-Spadt, director of sexual medicine at the Pelvic Floor Institute, Graduate Hospital in Philadelphia.
"While women with HSD may not feel deprived without sex, a defining feature is that lack of libido causes distress: "I worry about losing my husband and am sad to be missing out on this natural — and pleasurable — part of living," says McHugh.
So take care, and know you aren't alone.
January 23, 2009 - 9:56amThis Comment
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