I can speak on this from experience. I was previously married and my husband cheated. I chose to accept the affair and move on with our lives. He was the one that couldn't accept that he hurt me and had to end the marriage. His father was a cheater with his Mother for years and he never wanted to be a cheater like his father. Well, low and behold, one intoxicating night, he made a life changing mistake. I tried to forgive him, but he couldn't forgive himself. He committed suicide a few years later and told me how much he loved me in his last letter. How much he couldn't forgive himself.
My life moves on and I have another long term relationship that ends on very bad terms (not infidelity). The sparks rekindle after approximately a year and I think everything is fantastic, things are moving in the right direction. After one month, I find out he has been lying to me and has been seeing someone besides me. What a heart breaking story, right?
I choose to not forgive this one. Monogamy is not the norm for the animal kingdom, but as humans we are sophisticated and made it that way for many purposes of family, insurance and so forth. After endearing both my misfortunes, I think there is room for forgiveness in one sense and there is no room in another sense.
I know in my opinion, I will no longer deal with unfaithful partners. There are so many nice men out there, why should we be hurt by the people that we trust the most, our partner for life.
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I can speak on this from experience. I was previously married and my husband cheated. I chose to accept the affair and move on with our lives. He was the one that couldn't accept that he hurt me and had to end the marriage. His father was a cheater with his Mother for years and he never wanted to be a cheater like his father. Well, low and behold, one intoxicating night, he made a life changing mistake. I tried to forgive him, but he couldn't forgive himself. He committed suicide a few years later and told me how much he loved me in his last letter. How much he couldn't forgive himself.
My life moves on and I have another long term relationship that ends on very bad terms (not infidelity). The sparks rekindle after approximately a year and I think everything is fantastic, things are moving in the right direction. After one month, I find out he has been lying to me and has been seeing someone besides me. What a heart breaking story, right?
I choose to not forgive this one. Monogamy is not the norm for the animal kingdom, but as humans we are sophisticated and made it that way for many purposes of family, insurance and so forth. After endearing both my misfortunes, I think there is room for forgiveness in one sense and there is no room in another sense.
I know in my opinion, I will no longer deal with unfaithful partners. There are so many nice men out there, why should we be hurt by the people that we trust the most, our partner for life.
February 22, 2009 - 2:07pmThis Comment
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