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Wow--there are some truly amazing stories. I can not speak from experience, but the only thing missing is: what was the marriage like before the affair? In other words, is it worth saving? Was the affair the last straw, or an awful decision one night? Was it a one-night affair, or an ongoing love affair? How long have they been married (do they have a long history of love and trust that they can fall back on? Did they once have a strong foundation?). Don't get me wrong: cheating is cheating, but human behavior is not black-and-white, and once the shock is diminished, I believe those are some other questions the couple must ask themselves, both individually and as a partnership.

I do believe it is important to know if the couple has children, but that in no way can be the deciding factor. If the one who was betrayed is not able to forgive (and I'm not sure I could), then an unhappy household without trust and love is not an ideal environment to raise children (if they have a choice between two happy households or one unhappy household, then the choice may be simpler).