Free2beme, has there ever been an activity outside of work and home that he loved? Was he ever a gym-goer? Was there anything he did for his health or fitness when he worked in an office?
I admire your restraint; I don't think it's your issue to fix. People really cannot motivate other people. We can encourage and support, which you are doing, but we can't actually motivate them -- that's something they have to do for themselves. You are right when you realize that too much input from you might have the opposite effect. He clearly notices his weight and thinks about getting some exercise. That's an important first step. I bet it's only a matter of time until he takes a next step, with your encouragement.
I think one of the things that is harder about being a man is the way they get information. While any kind of information is available on the web, you do have to know what you're looking for. Women are raised with women's magazines and with girlfriends, and between the two we are more versed in what to do about a few extra pounds, or a big change in life, or changes in motivation and environment. (We may not always act on it, but I just think we get more information.) Also, we constantly question ourselves. I don't think men question themselves as much, they don't have the same level of self-doubt (we need to borrow that skill from them, don't we?) and they aren't as quick to pick on themselves (for instance, his being "surprised" at his weight gain).
Maybe a subscription to Men's Health magazine? Or something similar? He would get constant information on men's health and bodies, and it wouldn't all come from you. Is it close to time for his annual physical? Perhaps a suggestion that he talk about the weight gain with his doctor would be in order.
In the meantime, I think what you're doing is the absolute best you can do. Stay true to your own program and be a great example. Keep healthy foods in the house and enjoy your walks and workouts. Encourage, support. Offer help when he asks. And be patient. If he's used to being leaner and feeling better, I bet he will find his way back to that again.
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Free2beme, has there ever been an activity outside of work and home that he loved? Was he ever a gym-goer? Was there anything he did for his health or fitness when he worked in an office?
I admire your restraint; I don't think it's your issue to fix. People really cannot motivate other people. We can encourage and support, which you are doing, but we can't actually motivate them -- that's something they have to do for themselves. You are right when you realize that too much input from you might have the opposite effect. He clearly notices his weight and thinks about getting some exercise. That's an important first step. I bet it's only a matter of time until he takes a next step, with your encouragement.
I think one of the things that is harder about being a man is the way they get information. While any kind of information is available on the web, you do have to know what you're looking for. Women are raised with women's magazines and with girlfriends, and between the two we are more versed in what to do about a few extra pounds, or a big change in life, or changes in motivation and environment. (We may not always act on it, but I just think we get more information.) Also, we constantly question ourselves. I don't think men question themselves as much, they don't have the same level of self-doubt (we need to borrow that skill from them, don't we?) and they aren't as quick to pick on themselves (for instance, his being "surprised" at his weight gain).
Maybe a subscription to Men's Health magazine? Or something similar? He would get constant information on men's health and bodies, and it wouldn't all come from you. Is it close to time for his annual physical? Perhaps a suggestion that he talk about the weight gain with his doctor would be in order.
In the meantime, I think what you're doing is the absolute best you can do. Stay true to your own program and be a great example. Keep healthy foods in the house and enjoy your walks and workouts. Encourage, support. Offer help when he asks. And be patient. If he's used to being leaner and feeling better, I bet he will find his way back to that again.
March 3, 2009 - 9:27amThis Comment
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