Thank you gals. My story isn't unlike many others I expect. I'm 53 now, so you can't rule out the mid-life crisis scenario. But, I had never had an issue with alcohol. I was able to have social drinks, but never even kept it in the house. Then I had my daughters later, 32 for my first one. Just couldn't get prego. My 2nd daughter was born when I was 35. A year later, I remember buying a bottle of vodka and hiding it in the house. Now there's your first clue. In rehab I learned this is what is called "late onset alcoholism". Usually, this follows some traumatic experience. It could be emotional, like the loss of a loved one, or physical like a car accident, or giving birth!
But girls, I have to tell you I could hold my liquor! And I was proud of that. That is another clue, or so I learned in rehab. I was also an extremely high-functioning alcoholic. (This is where any amount of intelligence does not serve you well.) Instead of being smart enough to get help at that point, I was smart enough to hide it very well. And I did so for 15 loooong years. After 12 years, I was responsible for holding my family together through my husband's rehab for CRACK! Now he's been clean for almost seven years. I guess at the point I gave up, it was just too hard. I had hit my bottom. That's a different level for everyone. But it's where you just can't do it anymore and you'll do ANYTHING to make it stop.
That day was March 17th, 2006, a Friday. I had drank all day the day before, passed out and got up to get ready for work (yeah, I was holding down a full time job, too) I headed my car out to go to work and I just couldn't get there. Then I heard Carrie Underwood's hit, "Jesus, Take The Wheel" on the radio. It was my youngest daughters favorite song. I was just broken.
I have to give credit that I work with absolutely fabulous people in a medical office. I called my supervisor and told her I was in the parking lot and she had to come get me. She did and along with another employee (whose wife I been in and out of rehab) came and got me. They stayed with me, got my insurance, my husband and a rehab center on the phone until I was set. (It didn't hurt that you could throw a rock from our building to the Betty Ford Center!)
If not for my husband's experience with addiction, I don't know what would have happened. But I was just sure he would be steady enough to handle it. And he did beautifully and calmly.
And do you know when my husband sat my daughters down to tell them, they did not believe him. I was that good at hiding it. But it didn't make it not so.
Well anyway, thanks for letting me share. I don't mind. It's all a part of who I am today, and wouldn't change it if I could. I'm always willing to answer questions if it will help one who is still suffering.
Hey, spring is tomorrow and it's beautiful here!
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Thank you gals. My story isn't unlike many others I expect. I'm 53 now, so you can't rule out the mid-life crisis scenario. But, I had never had an issue with alcohol. I was able to have social drinks, but never even kept it in the house. Then I had my daughters later, 32 for my first one. Just couldn't get prego. My 2nd daughter was born when I was 35. A year later, I remember buying a bottle of vodka and hiding it in the house. Now there's your first clue. In rehab I learned this is what is called "late onset alcoholism". Usually, this follows some traumatic experience. It could be emotional, like the loss of a loved one, or physical like a car accident, or giving birth!
March 19, 2009 - 8:10pmBut girls, I have to tell you I could hold my liquor! And I was proud of that. That is another clue, or so I learned in rehab. I was also an extremely high-functioning alcoholic. (This is where any amount of intelligence does not serve you well.) Instead of being smart enough to get help at that point, I was smart enough to hide it very well. And I did so for 15 loooong years. After 12 years, I was responsible for holding my family together through my husband's rehab for CRACK! Now he's been clean for almost seven years. I guess at the point I gave up, it was just too hard. I had hit my bottom. That's a different level for everyone. But it's where you just can't do it anymore and you'll do ANYTHING to make it stop.
That day was March 17th, 2006, a Friday. I had drank all day the day before, passed out and got up to get ready for work (yeah, I was holding down a full time job, too) I headed my car out to go to work and I just couldn't get there. Then I heard Carrie Underwood's hit, "Jesus, Take The Wheel" on the radio. It was my youngest daughters favorite song. I was just broken.
I have to give credit that I work with absolutely fabulous people in a medical office. I called my supervisor and told her I was in the parking lot and she had to come get me. She did and along with another employee (whose wife I been in and out of rehab) came and got me. They stayed with me, got my insurance, my husband and a rehab center on the phone until I was set. (It didn't hurt that you could throw a rock from our building to the Betty Ford Center!)
If not for my husband's experience with addiction, I don't know what would have happened. But I was just sure he would be steady enough to handle it. And he did beautifully and calmly.
And do you know when my husband sat my daughters down to tell them, they did not believe him. I was that good at hiding it. But it didn't make it not so.
Well anyway, thanks for letting me share. I don't mind. It's all a part of who I am today, and wouldn't change it if I could. I'm always willing to answer questions if it will help one who is still suffering.
Hey, spring is tomorrow and it's beautiful here!
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