Hi Alison,
Thanks for your honesty.It hurts a little but I know you are right.
I grew up in a family where I was constantly compared to my many siblings and mostly to do with physical appearance and this has led me to a life filled with competition with other women. I hate myself sometimes for being so jealous and trying to control my boyfriend's thoughts about sex. The idea of simply letting go of those feelings sounds so easy and yet for me is so hard.
Would you be completely comfortable with your partner masturbating to a fantasy about your friend or your sister or some woman in the street? I suppose that the answer is, don't think about it. Stop those feelings and use your thoughts for more important issues?
Some sex therapists are all about sexual expression through many formats but others are into the idea of total sexual fidelity. I have done a lot of research on this.And the latter was the type of relationship that I always dreamed of.
I think that I am even less trusting in this relationship, as this man, though completely recovered, has a history of pornography and strip clubs. He even one almost picked up a prostitute. I emphasize the fact that he is over that life now...but it's so ironic that someone like me would meet and end up living with and loving a man with a past like this!
I want this relationship to work so I am focusing right now on the 'letting go' of my control. It's like jumping into the deep end, scary but ultimately rewarding as I will feel better aswell as him.
My first test is to stop asking and to leave the subject be.
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Hi Alison,
March 22, 2009 - 6:23pmThanks for your honesty.It hurts a little but I know you are right.
I grew up in a family where I was constantly compared to my many siblings and mostly to do with physical appearance and this has led me to a life filled with competition with other women. I hate myself sometimes for being so jealous and trying to control my boyfriend's thoughts about sex. The idea of simply letting go of those feelings sounds so easy and yet for me is so hard.
Would you be completely comfortable with your partner masturbating to a fantasy about your friend or your sister or some woman in the street? I suppose that the answer is, don't think about it. Stop those feelings and use your thoughts for more important issues?
Some sex therapists are all about sexual expression through many formats but others are into the idea of total sexual fidelity. I have done a lot of research on this.And the latter was the type of relationship that I always dreamed of.
I think that I am even less trusting in this relationship, as this man, though completely recovered, has a history of pornography and strip clubs. He even one almost picked up a prostitute. I emphasize the fact that he is over that life now...but it's so ironic that someone like me would meet and end up living with and loving a man with a past like this!
I want this relationship to work so I am focusing right now on the 'letting go' of my control. It's like jumping into the deep end, scary but ultimately rewarding as I will feel better aswell as him.
My first test is to stop asking and to leave the subject be.
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