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Is 45 too old to have a baby??

By Anonymous April 9, 2009 - 11:14am
 
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I'm recently married and my new husband and I have started talking about having a baby together. Not right away, but maybe we'd start trying in the next year or two. I have a couple of teenagers from my previous marriage and this is his first marriage (no kids). The problem is timing - we're not getting any younger!! We're both in our 40's - I'll be turning 45 later this year, and when I had my last baby at age 31, I thought I was totally done having kids. I never would have dreamed I'd even be thinking about another baby, but of course I never ever dreamed I'd get divorced and then remarried.

My question to other moms out there is what your opinion is on having a baby later in life. I'd love to know ALL your feelings on this. At the moment, I'm so enjoying my teenagers and love the fact that they're each becoming so independent and that we can do so many fun things together. I love my independence as well, and how much easier this part of my life is. As much as I'd love to have a baby with my husband at some point, I'm wondering if adding a new baby into the mix would be completely insane at this "middle-aged" stage of the game. What do you think? I could sure use some advice!

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Anonymous

I am 47 yrs old and pregnant by my 24 yr old boyfriend naturally.We're overjoyed.I already have three sons 30,29 and 26 and two grandchildren.

April 7, 2019 - 7:48am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 45 and have a child under 2 years old. One of the midwives tried to talk me into aborting with all kinds of scary statistics. Since, I had miscarried before she felt that only doom was likely if I kept going. She ignored the fact that they tested and found no genetic abnormalities, so it was my body that failed. I had issues from an injury previously that made carrying harder. I wonder if she moonlighted at an abortion clinic because it was like she had a script memorized. Being my age, I know who I am and no one is going to influence me against my heart and what I know. I explained that this child was a gift and I wasn't giving it back. She then tried to insist on additional testing because I was so old....I told her it was unnecessary because again, I was his mother and he is my child in any condition and I won't be returning him. Turns out he is more than perfect. Infact, he is already reading! He is perfectly healthy and beautiful. You see, I am lucky and blessed to have him. He will no doubt be a greater soul than me. I am humbled to have such an amazing child. I am excited to see how he will help others and make his way in life. I hope I can have at least one more. At my age, I am mature and patient. I know what is important. My child will have me until he is at least in his 30s. Some of my grandparents lived into 80s and 90s. I am at least a 3rd generation child whose mother had children in her 40s, all healthy, talented and smart. There is a pattern to this and it is happening all over the world. There must be a reason why. Perhaps, the huge decline in fertility has something to do with it. I do wish I could have started a decade ago, but life did not work out that way and we have a lot of love to give....

October 26, 2018 - 1:51pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I had my tubes tied after my third child when I was 28, now at 45 I am 6 weeks pregnant. My youngest will be 18 in 6 months. Did I plan this? Obviously not, but I trust God must have big plans for this baby as it is without doubt a miracle baby. My husband is not at all thrilled but he will adjust. I'm just praying for a healthy baby and we will take the rest as it comes. I am also a generational midlife baby myself and I was born completely healthy as were my aunts who were also midlife babies. So its not all gloom and doom ladies. Chin up! A baby is a blessing!

May 3, 2018 - 12:10pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'm a 50 year old male. My wife is 46 and just found out she is pregnant. This was a huge shocker to us as we already have kids who are 10 and 13. I'm worried for many reasons. Mostly because of our age. When I'm 60, I'll have a 10 year old. I don't think I'll be able to do the same things that I've done with my other children. I'm sure I'll do the best I can. Family wise, all my relatives are already in their late 60's and early 70's. By the time the baby is born, most of the extended family population will no longer be alive. I'm hopeful that me and my wife will have a long life and provide for this baby, but for some reason neither one of us is excited to have this child for the fear that we may not be here long enough to protect it and help it along in life. These are our legitimate worries. In addition, we worry about chromosome defect and possibility of autism which will place burden on one or both of our kids in the future. Is there anyone out there who can relate or share a similar experience? Did you go through with the pregnancy or abort? I'm very nervous about ensuring the welfare of our new child as they get older in their 20's.

April 16, 2018 - 1:32pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Baby lost the heartbeat. I had mixed emotions, but now nature took it's course.

May 3, 2018 - 5:39pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I am 47 and had my first child a year ago...completely naturally, without any drugs or fertility treatments.

He is amazing...happy, healthy, intelligent and currently featured in a baby magazine. I was told I had a less than 1% chance at my age to have a baby and even if I was to get pregnant that the child would most likely not be 'viable'. (This from a $300 a hour gynecologist who told me to either adopt or find an egg donor...4 years prior to becoming pregnant)

DON'T believe the naysayers!!! It is completely possible! In addition, you're not too old. I'm having a blast as is my husband. We have the knowledge, time and money to give our child 100%.

Over the past year I have observed in my 'mommy and me group' countless other children of 'younger' mothers where the little one's are shy, timid, sickly or introverted. My son is the opposite. Happy, outgoing, hasn't had a cold and approaches everyone young and old. I believe it's because of the time and attention he gets from his 'older parents'.

My advice...GO FOR IT!!! Good luck!

August 28, 2017 - 5:48pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Wow your baby is in a magazine. What about all the babies born into poverty, do you think your child is special because a magazine focused on you. They just wanted a feel good story, in reality most kids born with old parents go off the rails or have down sindrome.

October 19, 2017 - 3:26am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

This was a ridiculous reply. Children can be born into poverty at any age. Older parents are more likely to have their crap together and provide better for a child, not always but more likely. As for downs I have two people close to me both in their mid 20’s who have a child with downs.

March 30, 2018 - 4:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I really need to hear from people like you i'm 45 n just found out i'm pregnant Congratulations and mi hope my pregnancy turns out well...☺

October 13, 2017 - 4:22pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi dear, Just want to send you support and tell you enjoy life to the fullest. I am 45 with four children! ages 20,16,9,3. Don't let anyone steal your joy for wanting to have another baby.
They are pure gifts! Best wishes

August 6, 2017 - 5:18pm
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