I can understand why you feel this baby is such a blessing, because I felt exactly the same way when I fell pregnant aged 42. I had 4 kids the youngest was 12, from my first marriage. After moving in with a man who had no kids of his own and seeing how brilliant he was with my kids, I thought it would a sound idea, but at 8 weeks I began bleeding and at 10 weeks I lost it. This had never happened to me before and it stirred up emotions I had never had to deal with, not least realising that deep down I maybe did want another child. A year later I fell pregnant again and although terrified, decided to go ahead with it again even though it would have meant that I would have been 8 months pregnant on my planned wedding day. At 16 weeks, I had another miscarriage, quite possibly the most traumatic thing I have ever been through. I won't get too graphic, but no one can prepare you for losing a child at 16 weeks. While I was still trying to come to terms with this miscarriage, still planning the wedding and trying to get on with life, only a month later I was pregnant again. I found out on Monday and was getting married Friday of the same week. I couldn't tell anyone not even my hubby to be because I didn't want it to over-shadow the wedding and was convinced I would start bleeding any day. I told him on the wedding night and we agreed not to discuss it until we were back from honeymoon. The doctor advised a termination as I was now 44 years old, but I had convinced myself that I would lose it anyway and basically waited for history to repeat itself. It didn't and I spent every day for 9 months waiting to miscarry. He was born at Christmas, perfectly healthy after a very long labour. No one explained that if you have a 14 year gap between babies, it's like starting all over again. Anyway I am delighted he is here but in lots of ways I feel like I am his grandmother not his mum. He is due to start school soon and I know I will standing in the playground with parents who are the same age as my other kids. Having a baby at 45 years old is totally and utterly exhausting and unless you have 100% support and 24 hour help at the start I would not recommend it to anyone whoever you are. With hindsight I feel selfish because I know that when I am 60 he will only be 15 and who knows what his future will be like. I guess I am even more scared for him as he is autistic. But these are the risks I took so have no one to turn to now.
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I can understand why you feel this baby is such a blessing, because I felt exactly the same way when I fell pregnant aged 42. I had 4 kids the youngest was 12, from my first marriage. After moving in with a man who had no kids of his own and seeing how brilliant he was with my kids, I thought it would a sound idea, but at 8 weeks I began bleeding and at 10 weeks I lost it. This had never happened to me before and it stirred up emotions I had never had to deal with, not least realising that deep down I maybe did want another child. A year later I fell pregnant again and although terrified, decided to go ahead with it again even though it would have meant that I would have been 8 months pregnant on my planned wedding day. At 16 weeks, I had another miscarriage, quite possibly the most traumatic thing I have ever been through. I won't get too graphic, but no one can prepare you for losing a child at 16 weeks. While I was still trying to come to terms with this miscarriage, still planning the wedding and trying to get on with life, only a month later I was pregnant again. I found out on Monday and was getting married Friday of the same week. I couldn't tell anyone not even my hubby to be because I didn't want it to over-shadow the wedding and was convinced I would start bleeding any day. I told him on the wedding night and we agreed not to discuss it until we were back from honeymoon. The doctor advised a termination as I was now 44 years old, but I had convinced myself that I would lose it anyway and basically waited for history to repeat itself. It didn't and I spent every day for 9 months waiting to miscarry. He was born at Christmas, perfectly healthy after a very long labour. No one explained that if you have a 14 year gap between babies, it's like starting all over again. Anyway I am delighted he is here but in lots of ways I feel like I am his grandmother not his mum. He is due to start school soon and I know I will standing in the playground with parents who are the same age as my other kids. Having a baby at 45 years old is totally and utterly exhausting and unless you have 100% support and 24 hour help at the start I would not recommend it to anyone whoever you are. With hindsight I feel selfish because I know that when I am 60 he will only be 15 and who knows what his future will be like. I guess I am even more scared for him as he is autistic. But these are the risks I took so have no one to turn to now.
July 2, 2017 - 12:00pmThis Comment
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