You've had a tough time over the last few years, I can tell. And I echo Alysia's question as to why the two of you are still together. Can you talk a little about that?
What has he done to prove to you that this will not happen again?
Or is it that possibly you feel that you don't deserve anyone better? Or that you can change this man's behavior toward you in the future?
In answer to your question about sexually transmitted disease, I have to say yes, of course it's possible that this could be a factor. Unless you have safe sex every time -- meaning with a condom, absolutely every single time you have sex -- then you can get an STD. Even then, you cannot be 100% certain.
Since your partner has been unfaithful to you, I hope you have used condoms when having sex, and I hope that both of you have been tested for STDs. If not, can you have this done (whether or not he goes)?
I'm not saying that your desire, arousal or lubrication issues are symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease. But anytime one partner has been unfaithful, in essence you then sleep with every person they have ever slept with. If your boyfriend cheated on you three times, then you are at risk for any STD those three partners had as well as any that THEIR partners had. So you really need to get checked out.
And as far as your orgasm and lubrication issues, sex for women is such a mental act as well as a physical one. It tells me that you're not 100% there with him -- which is so understandable, since your trust has been shattered by the affairs.
Here's an article on moving forward after infidelity:
http://drphil.com/articles/article/16/
Please write back and tell us a little bit more about this relationship and why you have hope for it in the future. There is a lot of support here at EmpowHer that you can take advantage of.
Comment Reply
Dear Anon,
You've had a tough time over the last few years, I can tell. And I echo Alysia's question as to why the two of you are still together. Can you talk a little about that?
What has he done to prove to you that this will not happen again?
Or is it that possibly you feel that you don't deserve anyone better? Or that you can change this man's behavior toward you in the future?
In answer to your question about sexually transmitted disease, I have to say yes, of course it's possible that this could be a factor. Unless you have safe sex every time -- meaning with a condom, absolutely every single time you have sex -- then you can get an STD. Even then, you cannot be 100% certain.
Since your partner has been unfaithful to you, I hope you have used condoms when having sex, and I hope that both of you have been tested for STDs. If not, can you have this done (whether or not he goes)?
I'm not saying that your desire, arousal or lubrication issues are symptoms of a sexually transmitted disease. But anytime one partner has been unfaithful, in essence you then sleep with every person they have ever slept with. If your boyfriend cheated on you three times, then you are at risk for any STD those three partners had as well as any that THEIR partners had. So you really need to get checked out.
And as far as your orgasm and lubrication issues, sex for women is such a mental act as well as a physical one. It tells me that you're not 100% there with him -- which is so understandable, since your trust has been shattered by the affairs.
Here's an article on moving forward after infidelity:
http://drphil.com/articles/article/16/
Please write back and tell us a little bit more about this relationship and why you have hope for it in the future. There is a lot of support here at EmpowHer that you can take advantage of.
April 24, 2009 - 3:42pmThis Comment
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