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Hi, Alison:

You might check your local building code and homeowner's association codicil, as it may be a requirement to have a child-proof structure around the pool. City ordinances may also be enforceable. Therefore, your in-laws may have no choice but to comply.

I grew up with a pool, but we always had a responsible person watching us.

I don't blame you one bit for being concerned! I hope your family can come to a happy and safe solution.