sorry typo correction: For me, even though I had removed it 5 years ago, the confusion and avoidance still comes back once in a while. Basically, what had happened to me is physical abrasion and trauma to the uterus, it was a wound, but not a plain wound , it was a wound that was internal, external, emotional, and sexual, it is hard to understand even by myself. I feel attacked and blamed whenever my lover(s) tells me: "but you removed it a long time ago right? you shouldn't feel bad from it once you have taken it out. It is in your head, it must be something else." I know they are trying to make me feel better, but this is not just a mechanical thing, I am not a machine. It had affected me in ways I cannot interpret but only feel frustrated and any little unsupportive-ness makes me feel alone and stuck, and wrong for not being able to be intimate. I was also blamed by my boyfriend at the time for making excuses and lying about being injured. It was really traumatizing even more so after. The best thing to do is to be completely supportive of her. When I apologized to my current boyfriend about how sorry I am for not being intimate and that I can feel myself avoiding sex again, he was completely supportive and told me that it was ok, and to take my time to be comfortable, he told me that sex is only good to him if it is good to me. Those words really helped me overcome my fears and made me feel cared for, and that really turned me on as a lover, and sex has been really great ever since. Be as gentle as possible and follow her rhythm during intercourse. Give her time to heal physically first.
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sorry typo correction: For me, even though I had removed it 5 years ago, the confusion and avoidance still comes back once in a while. Basically, what had happened to me is physical abrasion and trauma to the uterus, it was a wound, but not a plain wound , it was a wound that was internal, external, emotional, and sexual, it is hard to understand even by myself. I feel attacked and blamed whenever my lover(s) tells me: "but you removed it a long time ago right? you shouldn't feel bad from it once you have taken it out. It is in your head, it must be something else." I know they are trying to make me feel better, but this is not just a mechanical thing, I am not a machine. It had affected me in ways I cannot interpret but only feel frustrated and any little unsupportive-ness makes me feel alone and stuck, and wrong for not being able to be intimate. I was also blamed by my boyfriend at the time for making excuses and lying about being injured. It was really traumatizing even more so after. The best thing to do is to be completely supportive of her. When I apologized to my current boyfriend about how sorry I am for not being intimate and that I can feel myself avoiding sex again, he was completely supportive and told me that it was ok, and to take my time to be comfortable, he told me that sex is only good to him if it is good to me. Those words really helped me overcome my fears and made me feel cared for, and that really turned me on as a lover, and sex has been really great ever since. Be as gentle as possible and follow her rhythm during intercourse. Give her time to heal physically first.
January 22, 2015 - 4:12pmThis Comment
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