So, I just went through this experience from the woman's side. I had my Mirena for 15 months before I got it out and things are much better now (libido returned almost immediately). I can tell you that it's really difficult from the female perspective as well. I still had sex with my husband 1-2 times each week and tried my best to "get into it", but he could tell there was a difference. Similarly, I'm sure your SO can tell you're doing things you aren't into ("Men do things all the time that they aren't necessarily in the mood for just to make their significant other feel good, like massages and cuddling, and even just doing random things daily.") The thing that really helped me want to be intimate, even when I wasn't really feeling it, was when we shared GENUINE intimacy. Not cuddling with the goal of getting sex, not going straight for sexual touching. But hanging out, talking, caressing, snuggling, etc, without trying to initiate sex. Sometimes that would lead to sex that night. More often, I'd wake up the next day feeling very close to my husband because we'd shared an emotionally intimate connection the night before, and we'd end up having some morning sex. It still wasn't great for me, but I'd want to make him happy because I felt emotionally close to him. Not sure if any of that is making sense, but it played a big part in getting us through a rough time. Less focus on sex, more focus on emotional intimacy = more sex in the end.
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So, I just went through this experience from the woman's side. I had my Mirena for 15 months before I got it out and things are much better now (libido returned almost immediately). I can tell you that it's really difficult from the female perspective as well. I still had sex with my husband 1-2 times each week and tried my best to "get into it", but he could tell there was a difference. Similarly, I'm sure your SO can tell you're doing things you aren't into ("Men do things all the time that they aren't necessarily in the mood for just to make their significant other feel good, like massages and cuddling, and even just doing random things daily.") The thing that really helped me want to be intimate, even when I wasn't really feeling it, was when we shared GENUINE intimacy. Not cuddling with the goal of getting sex, not going straight for sexual touching. But hanging out, talking, caressing, snuggling, etc, without trying to initiate sex. Sometimes that would lead to sex that night. More often, I'd wake up the next day feeling very close to my husband because we'd shared an emotionally intimate connection the night before, and we'd end up having some morning sex. It still wasn't great for me, but I'd want to make him happy because I felt emotionally close to him. Not sure if any of that is making sense, but it played a big part in getting us through a rough time. Less focus on sex, more focus on emotional intimacy = more sex in the end.
July 11, 2015 - 11:51amThis Comment
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