If it has been this way for 40 years and he is much older then she is , he might resist change, especially if they are of different generations! Maybe it's his age or his background? It's only disrespectful if he means it in that kind of way. If his wife isn't really bothered by it (since they are still together~!)_then maybe this is just how he is - I guess we all have our quirks :) I'd have to think that after 40 years, she would have said something to him by now if it was really bothering her. Is it upsetting you more than them? Maybe the guy doesn't even realize it, and it's just a habit. If noone has said anything to him, then he mightn't even know theres a problem!
She can't change things, only he can. The behavior can only be changed by the person himself. She might change her REACTION to his behavior though and see if that works.
Do you think he takes her for granted, or does she? She may not feel that way. I know other people's relationships often have me wondering what makes other people tick but we're all different. If they are together 40 years, their relationship must be working for them, unless they are trapped by finances or something like that.
I don't know if anyone can tell you what any of this means because they have a very long history together that only they really know and understand. There could literally be a hundred reasons or it could just be that this is his way of living his life. He could be an old school kind, who is not going to talk about his emotions and who opts for a private, internal kind of life.
It does sound a bit unusual but human behavior often is...
I'm not sure if this helps. People are so varied and individual in their choices. She can't change him. only he can. At this stage in the game, it may be of little value but people can change if they really want to! But they have to want to and they have to know there is a problem to begin with!
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If it has been this way for 40 years and he is much older then she is , he might resist change, especially if they are of different generations! Maybe it's his age or his background? It's only disrespectful if he means it in that kind of way. If his wife isn't really bothered by it (since they are still together~!)_then maybe this is just how he is - I guess we all have our quirks :) I'd have to think that after 40 years, she would have said something to him by now if it was really bothering her. Is it upsetting you more than them? Maybe the guy doesn't even realize it, and it's just a habit. If noone has said anything to him, then he mightn't even know theres a problem!
She can't change things, only he can. The behavior can only be changed by the person himself. She might change her REACTION to his behavior though and see if that works.
Do you think he takes her for granted, or does she? She may not feel that way. I know other people's relationships often have me wondering what makes other people tick but we're all different. If they are together 40 years, their relationship must be working for them, unless they are trapped by finances or something like that.
I don't know if anyone can tell you what any of this means because they have a very long history together that only they really know and understand. There could literally be a hundred reasons or it could just be that this is his way of living his life. He could be an old school kind, who is not going to talk about his emotions and who opts for a private, internal kind of life.
It does sound a bit unusual but human behavior often is...
I'm not sure if this helps. People are so varied and individual in their choices. She can't change him. only he can. At this stage in the game, it may be of little value but people can change if they really want to! But they have to want to and they have to know there is a problem to begin with!
I hope she can work it out!
May 23, 2009 - 4:40pmThis Comment
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