Dear Daughter of 70 year old mother with chronic bulimia,
Thank you for writing. Over twenty years ago a woman in her mid twenties
asked me if she could find a 12-step program for adult children of parents who had eating disorders, bulimia in particular.
My heart broke at the magnitude of her question. The answer, of course, was "No." At that time in our society her existence was unknown or unacknowledged or both. All people with eating disorders were considered to be female, white and in their very early teens.
An adult child of a bulimic woman, if recognized, would destroy that illusion. The bulimic woman would have to be at least of child bearing age plus the age of her adult child. That would put the bulimic person in the neighborhood of forty. This was inconceivable at the time, except for the people who were living with the illness.
I still receive mail from women in their 50's and 60's who share for the first time that they continue to suffer from an eating disorder.
The Maudsley Method philosophy has a straightline focus on the adolescent living at home and who is severely deprived nutritionally.
The full range of eating disorder healing experiences encompass every aspect of a person's life and is quite profound for the individual and for the people in his or her life if they can remain in relationship. Working with adults who have eating disorders is very different from working with children.
And working with adult children of mothers (or fathers) with a history of eating disorders is still, in my opinion, a neglected area in mental health.
The good news is that the principles in Al-Anon (the 12-step program) for the most part, apply to adult children of a person with an eating disorder. And today, many mental health clinicians, unfortunately, have rich experience in working with adults whose parents suffer or have ever suffered from addiction. Here too, overlap exists, so
the adult child of a bulimic person can be understood and get effective help.
A core principle in the healing work revolves around boundaries, i.e. recognizing boundaries, dismantling unhealthy boundaries, constructing and honoring healthy boundaries.
Thank you again, for writing. I'm glad you found my article and were moved to share a bit of your story. Please feel free to write again.
Comment Reply
Dear Daughter of 70 year old mother with chronic bulimia,
Thank you for writing. Over twenty years ago a woman in her mid twenties
asked me if she could find a 12-step program for adult children of parents who had eating disorders, bulimia in particular.
My heart broke at the magnitude of her question. The answer, of course, was "No." At that time in our society her existence was unknown or unacknowledged or both. All people with eating disorders were considered to be female, white and in their very early teens.
An adult child of a bulimic woman, if recognized, would destroy that illusion. The bulimic woman would have to be at least of child bearing age plus the age of her adult child. That would put the bulimic person in the neighborhood of forty. This was inconceivable at the time, except for the people who were living with the illness.
I still receive mail from women in their 50's and 60's who share for the first time that they continue to suffer from an eating disorder.
The Maudsley Method philosophy has a straightline focus on the adolescent living at home and who is severely deprived nutritionally.
The full range of eating disorder healing experiences encompass every aspect of a person's life and is quite profound for the individual and for the people in his or her life if they can remain in relationship. Working with adults who have eating disorders is very different from working with children.
And working with adult children of mothers (or fathers) with a history of eating disorders is still, in my opinion, a neglected area in mental health.
The good news is that the principles in Al-Anon (the 12-step program) for the most part, apply to adult children of a person with an eating disorder. And today, many mental health clinicians, unfortunately, have rich experience in working with adults whose parents suffer or have ever suffered from addiction. Here too, overlap exists, so
the adult child of a bulimic person can be understood and get effective help.
A core principle in the healing work revolves around boundaries, i.e. recognizing boundaries, dismantling unhealthy boundaries, constructing and honoring healthy boundaries.
Thank you again, for writing. I'm glad you found my article and were moved to share a bit of your story. Please feel free to write again.
warm regards,
Joanna
June 4, 2009 - 12:13pmThis Comment
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