Carol-THANK YOU! You summed up what i wanted to say so succinctly that I'm not going to bother responding. You're right and thank you for standing up for many voiceless people.
Shelley-I've been enjoying your contributions to the discussion. For the record, I think you sound like a wonderful mother (definitely NOT abusive) and if you had had daughters, I believe that you would have raised them well and been able to keep them out of the whole ED mess.
I'm disgusted by whoever it was who said that an eating disordered mother is "abusive" by virtue of having an ED. Shame on you. An eating disorder does not make an abusive person, rather eating disorders are likely to be responses to abuse. People do what they have to in order to survive abuse and sadly that can include an eating disorder. A person with an eating disorder is more than likely a survivor, NOT an abuser. An abuser is someone who would throw around such inflammatory and false comments about mothers with eating disorders. I have known mothers who suffer from eating disorders and they are wonderful, caring parents who would do anything to prevent their sons/daughters from falling into EDs and have been successful. These parents are not only more likely to notice early signs of depression/EDs/mental distress in their children but also more likely to believe their kids and take quick action. Their kids feel that they're able to confide in their parents and find acceptance and understanding. All of these mothers I have known have been actively seeking healing and how inspiring is that for a child to witness. A child eventually has to accept the humanity of their parents-to be able to see them as flawed, see them cry/feel scared or vulnerable/struggle with problems-and come to terms with it and see them as people as well as Mom or Dad. Similarly, parents must come to terms with and accept the humanity and personhood of their kids. A parent who struggles with an ED or mental illness shouldn't lie about it or go to great lengths to deny it despite evidence to the contrary because the kid knows something is wrong and its better for them to know the truth. Watching this parent struggle and move forward is probably one of the best lessons they could ever learn and if it keeps them from falling into that path or prompts them to come forward and ask for help if they became depressed themselves then all the better.
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Carol-THANK YOU! You summed up what i wanted to say so succinctly that I'm not going to bother responding. You're right and thank you for standing up for many voiceless people.
Shelley-I've been enjoying your contributions to the discussion. For the record, I think you sound like a wonderful mother (definitely NOT abusive) and if you had had daughters, I believe that you would have raised them well and been able to keep them out of the whole ED mess.
I'm disgusted by whoever it was who said that an eating disordered mother is "abusive" by virtue of having an ED. Shame on you. An eating disorder does not make an abusive person, rather eating disorders are likely to be responses to abuse. People do what they have to in order to survive abuse and sadly that can include an eating disorder. A person with an eating disorder is more than likely a survivor, NOT an abuser. An abuser is someone who would throw around such inflammatory and false comments about mothers with eating disorders. I have known mothers who suffer from eating disorders and they are wonderful, caring parents who would do anything to prevent their sons/daughters from falling into EDs and have been successful. These parents are not only more likely to notice early signs of depression/EDs/mental distress in their children but also more likely to believe their kids and take quick action. Their kids feel that they're able to confide in their parents and find acceptance and understanding. All of these mothers I have known have been actively seeking healing and how inspiring is that for a child to witness. A child eventually has to accept the humanity of their parents-to be able to see them as flawed, see them cry/feel scared or vulnerable/struggle with problems-and come to terms with it and see them as people as well as Mom or Dad. Similarly, parents must come to terms with and accept the humanity and personhood of their kids. A parent who struggles with an ED or mental illness shouldn't lie about it or go to great lengths to deny it despite evidence to the contrary because the kid knows something is wrong and its better for them to know the truth. Watching this parent struggle and move forward is probably one of the best lessons they could ever learn and if it keeps them from falling into that path or prompts them to come forward and ask for help if they became depressed themselves then all the better.
-Jera
http://www.fatanorexicreflections.blogspot.com
June 17, 2009 - 11:33pmThis Comment
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