All this and you're in another country, as well. That makes things doubly hard sometimes. Where are you living?
He is making sacrifices for you (and for the both of you) by working at a job he hates every day. You are making sacrifices for him (and for the both of you) by moving to his country and by originally being the decision-maker, the "manager" of the household, so to speak. But now neither of you is happy in the roles you took, and it's grating on you daily.
I can really understand how frustrating it must be for you -- each of you -- on a daily basis. And you know, sex is a reflection of that. Making love was a joyous reflection of your relationship when you were both joyous, you know? Now, your sex life has different undertones -- who's in charge here, the person who asks or the person who says yes or no? is it sex or is it love? is it joyful or is it a chore? It represents everything that's going on in the other rooms of the house.
Would the two of you be interested in online counseling from an English-speaking counselor? There are many in the United States; at least one of them even writes for EmpowHer.
Would you be interested in a book on working through relationship difficulties, something you can order from Amazon online?
Or do you think you have reached a point where you truly want out?
Do you think your husband wants out of the marriage?
If he were writing to me instead of you, what would he say about the situation?
I'm glad that you have days when things seem OK, that it's a matter of patience and strength. But you know what? Every day that you are patient is also something else: It's a gift of faithfulness to the marriage. We vow "in good times and in bad" and sometimes that's what keeps us going when they ARE bad. Every day that you hang in there is another day you honor that vow.
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Jenlnic,
All this and you're in another country, as well. That makes things doubly hard sometimes. Where are you living?
He is making sacrifices for you (and for the both of you) by working at a job he hates every day. You are making sacrifices for him (and for the both of you) by moving to his country and by originally being the decision-maker, the "manager" of the household, so to speak. But now neither of you is happy in the roles you took, and it's grating on you daily.
I can really understand how frustrating it must be for you -- each of you -- on a daily basis. And you know, sex is a reflection of that. Making love was a joyous reflection of your relationship when you were both joyous, you know? Now, your sex life has different undertones -- who's in charge here, the person who asks or the person who says yes or no? is it sex or is it love? is it joyful or is it a chore? It represents everything that's going on in the other rooms of the house.
Would the two of you be interested in online counseling from an English-speaking counselor? There are many in the United States; at least one of them even writes for EmpowHer.
Would you be interested in a book on working through relationship difficulties, something you can order from Amazon online?
Or do you think you have reached a point where you truly want out?
Do you think your husband wants out of the marriage?
If he were writing to me instead of you, what would he say about the situation?
I'm glad that you have days when things seem OK, that it's a matter of patience and strength. But you know what? Every day that you are patient is also something else: It's a gift of faithfulness to the marriage. We vow "in good times and in bad" and sometimes that's what keeps us going when they ARE bad. Every day that you hang in there is another day you honor that vow.
June 13, 2009 - 7:56amThis Comment
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