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Anonymous (reply to figuredancer)

In December 2009 I received the same diagnosis as you now have. Firstly, I'd like to say 'Wow! What a positive and proactive woman you sound like, and very intelligent asking others for their feedback!" And secondly, yep, very good reason you should sound positive- you have an excellent chance of surviving this!

I had a lot of family and friends recommend all sorts of radical treatments etc.. But then I did my research (I'm an Educational Researcher, and all of the programs I utilize at work are based firmly on 'data and research'- not on comments from randoms like, 'a friend of mine drinks green coffee every morning and didn't need any treatment', up to the more ridiculous, 'I know this spiritual advisor who can lay his hands on your breasts (yep, I bet he bloody does!), and his positive thoughts eradicate the cancer!' Obviously you're an intelligent woman, and listening to the Professionals is the best way to go. They told me I needed surgery, chemo, radiotherapy followed my hormone treatment. I researched and as expected- all of the data/research said this was PROVEN to be the most effective treatment.

Please, feel free to seek a 2nd or even a 3rd opinion (from SPECIALISTS- I did), but they all came back with the same advice. Here I am nearly 6 yrs later flying high and cancer free! I've also met women who declined the treatments (or some of treatments- no one wants Chemo or Radio- but PLEASE trust me- do it!!! These treatments are nothing like they were in the past! They have amazing meds that mitigate a hell of a lot of the previously negative side-effects!
And geez- take EVERY treatment they recommend!!! I met a number of women who hadn't taken the chemo option- only to have it return! Kick the cancer's arse STRAIGHT AWAY!!! Think long-term.

I was lucky I had Income Protection Insurance so didn't have to work. Being honest, I bet your surgeon has never had breast cancer treatment- she's/he's an idiot thinking you can work 'normally'. It IS exhausting. IF you HAVE to work (I met a number of women in this situation), ensure your work-place is aware you may need to 'lay down' at times to 're-envigorate' yourself, etc.. My hubby had to drive me to most of my Chemo and Radio appt's- as I was not quite 'switched on' enough to drive.

I had very bad, 'chemo brain'- (strange that they've only just recently recognized this DOES exist!) Get your priorities right- you ARE #1 right now. I am an avid reader, but during my 9 mths treatment, I couldn't read more then a few words before I 'lost track'. Hopefully you won't have it at the same degree I did. I'm sure you will find a work colleague or two who will help you through this if you have a similar problem.

Most importantly, be easy on yourself, and don't beat yourself up over not doing things as 'well' as you did pre-dx (you DO improve quickly after treatment!).

You mention wanting quality of life with your family- remember, quality won't be A1 for a short period of your life, but it will still be AMAZING! Quantity is what you should now be focusing on- PLEASE do ALL of the treatments- yep, not fun, but geez, you have obviously caught it early, even if in your lymph nodes (like me), it can be stamped out.

From your writing, you seem like such a caring individual who is worried about your family. It will be hard, but do put yourself first for the first time ever. Forgive my waffle, but my heart goes out to you, as do my prayers. And I've never been wrong with this one- I KNOW you will come through strongly! x

March 16, 2015 - 12:10am

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