Thanks so much for the informative and caring comments...I know we all struggle with these issues as women and as caring members of our communities.. I am a mother of two boys ages 10 and 7 and wrestle with the media, attempting to keep balance in their lives all the time and it is truly exhausting; and at times extremely confusing and depressing, as well.
I also work with teens and see the abundance of imagery they have to contend with.
Having never been a fan of extremes, I have struggled with the issue of whether or not to raise my boys completely without television, completely without junk food, or completely without inappropriate language in their lives.
Having realized pretty early on that this level of extreme living was going to pose its own set of problems, I have mostly opted for moderation in all things; you can have ice cream but not every day, and not unless you eat healthy food; you can watch television and play video games but I have to know what you're watching and playing and you have to have social and intellectual activities to balance it out....(not to mention great behavior, fantastic grades and good reports from friends' parents, teachers, etc)
There have been many days when I felt completely frustrated with myself for ever having allowed this and felt that I had failed completely as a parent.
So I understand the place that people are in emotionally when they make the decision to steer their children in the direction of abstinence and I don't think for one moment that they mean any harm to their young people.
However, the description of young menstruating girls not really understanding their own bodies and cycles is truly saddening. As you said, this brings us so far from our goal as women of having a say and having control over our own sexuality and our own lives, ultimately, that it is no wonder we have the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the industrialized world.
I don't have any answers, but the essence of this issue feels, to me, like we need to move back into a slow, profound message of inherent value and teach not only our young women but our young men as well that they are valuable as human beings simply because they are - that their development of intellect, humor, empathy, hobbies, interests, connection, friendship, loyalty, honesty, integrity, caring... that the development of these character traits and ethical values are MORE important than being popular, being cool, being thin, being a reflection of the media images they are bombarded with.
I suppose we need to stay in connection with our children and keep talking to them, keep them willing and open and able to keep talking to us, as well. After all, if they can trust us enough to come to us with their questions and problems, they stand a far better chance of actually getting useful information and not feeling so alone in the process of growing up.
Aimee
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Thanks so much for the informative and caring comments...I know we all struggle with these issues as women and as caring members of our communities.. I am a mother of two boys ages 10 and 7 and wrestle with the media, attempting to keep balance in their lives all the time and it is truly exhausting; and at times extremely confusing and depressing, as well.
June 19, 2009 - 9:37amI also work with teens and see the abundance of imagery they have to contend with.
Having never been a fan of extremes, I have struggled with the issue of whether or not to raise my boys completely without television, completely without junk food, or completely without inappropriate language in their lives.
Having realized pretty early on that this level of extreme living was going to pose its own set of problems, I have mostly opted for moderation in all things; you can have ice cream but not every day, and not unless you eat healthy food; you can watch television and play video games but I have to know what you're watching and playing and you have to have social and intellectual activities to balance it out....(not to mention great behavior, fantastic grades and good reports from friends' parents, teachers, etc)
There have been many days when I felt completely frustrated with myself for ever having allowed this and felt that I had failed completely as a parent.
So I understand the place that people are in emotionally when they make the decision to steer their children in the direction of abstinence and I don't think for one moment that they mean any harm to their young people.
However, the description of young menstruating girls not really understanding their own bodies and cycles is truly saddening. As you said, this brings us so far from our goal as women of having a say and having control over our own sexuality and our own lives, ultimately, that it is no wonder we have the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the industrialized world.
I don't have any answers, but the essence of this issue feels, to me, like we need to move back into a slow, profound message of inherent value and teach not only our young women but our young men as well that they are valuable as human beings simply because they are - that their development of intellect, humor, empathy, hobbies, interests, connection, friendship, loyalty, honesty, integrity, caring... that the development of these character traits and ethical values are MORE important than being popular, being cool, being thin, being a reflection of the media images they are bombarded with.
I suppose we need to stay in connection with our children and keep talking to them, keep them willing and open and able to keep talking to us, as well. After all, if they can trust us enough to come to us with their questions and problems, they stand a far better chance of actually getting useful information and not feeling so alone in the process of growing up.
Aimee
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