Anon1, this is Anon2 again here. My family did the same thing--accusing me of taking drugs, even accusing my first serious boyfriend (who helped me break from the family & abuse) of drugging me. For some reason, they wanted to believe this was the reason I was with him. I was an A student, no drugs at all! I think they do this kind of thing because they need to create some sort of "reason" for the problem other than the REAL problem. The REAL problem shows that the family is flawed, and it's too much for them to accept. I didn't understand that for a long time, but now I see how it's related to their own insecurities.
I wish you the best on your new path. My road has had its share of bumps, as I guess many roads do; but it has shown me my strength and integrity, and I do not regret doing what I think was right for me. It was a powerful step. I was protecting myself, and advocating for myself in the way I wish I'd been protected and advocated for. We expect that other people will do that for us (because they should); but we can learn how to do it for ourselves, if they won't or can't.
The other day, a friend told me she was impressed by what I had survived, and it made me feel good at what I had accomplished. She's right, I finally found my spirit again. There was a strong young woman under that mess after all.
So keep trucking: pay attention to those instincts, keep thinking about what you want out of life, strive for that healthy perspective, have patience with yourself through this process, remember that bad stuff happening to you doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, and just keep taking it one day at a time.
Like me, you have a cheering section you didn't even know about. :)
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Anon1, this is Anon2 again here. My family did the same thing--accusing me of taking drugs, even accusing my first serious boyfriend (who helped me break from the family & abuse) of drugging me. For some reason, they wanted to believe this was the reason I was with him. I was an A student, no drugs at all! I think they do this kind of thing because they need to create some sort of "reason" for the problem other than the REAL problem. The REAL problem shows that the family is flawed, and it's too much for them to accept. I didn't understand that for a long time, but now I see how it's related to their own insecurities.
I wish you the best on your new path. My road has had its share of bumps, as I guess many roads do; but it has shown me my strength and integrity, and I do not regret doing what I think was right for me. It was a powerful step. I was protecting myself, and advocating for myself in the way I wish I'd been protected and advocated for. We expect that other people will do that for us (because they should); but we can learn how to do it for ourselves, if they won't or can't.
The other day, a friend told me she was impressed by what I had survived, and it made me feel good at what I had accomplished. She's right, I finally found my spirit again. There was a strong young woman under that mess after all.
So keep trucking: pay attention to those instincts, keep thinking about what you want out of life, strive for that healthy perspective, have patience with yourself through this process, remember that bad stuff happening to you doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, and just keep taking it one day at a time.
Like me, you have a cheering section you didn't even know about. :)
August 14, 2009 - 9:53pmThis Comment
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