I really don't know why so many women here hate porn. I will admit that I love porn and masturbate daily. I am a highly sexual person and there is nothing wrong with that. When my boyfriend and I are together we have amazing sex, as we are young and love each other dearly. I have discussed porn with him and we both acknowledge that looking about porn is just about becoming aroused to feel good physically, and that true love and devotion (and the greatest of all sexual pleasure) is reserved for each other.
However, I do not see my boyfriend everyday, so I see nothing wrong with achieving orgasm on my own. I don't see why some women think you're not allowed to orgasm unless you're with your lover. I should think that of all people, feminists would approve of self-pleasure that is independent of men.
But in regards to the original question: he might just be looking at porn and masturbating because of the stress he is under. Orgasm does wonders to release stress, but perhaps he has problems with intercourse itself. Intercourse can even be stressful sometimes because men feel that it is their responsibility to satisfy you (usually not the other way around). It is such a hard blow for men if they believe they have underperformed during sex. So your boyfriend might be avoiding the whole thing altogether. Perhaps he is feeling inadequate because of problems at work. Perhaps the both of you are also dealing with the stress of moving, which might account for the fact that neither of you have new friends where you are. Perhaps you are acting stressed as well, which might be putting him on edge. It is possible that he feels that a bad sexual performance at this point might turn you off from him even more and make your relationship worse. Of course this IS all speculation. I think the best thing for you would to go see a couple's counselor. It's obvious that your boyfriend wants to communicate to you because he's told you this much. It seems to me that you really do care about each other, so take the time to think about how hard it is for guys to open up about sexual problems. Try to be understanding of what he says and don't jump to wild conclusions first. If there comes a point where you must draw a line, then do it - just be sure to think these things through completely first. Good luck!
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I really don't know why so many women here hate porn. I will admit that I love porn and masturbate daily. I am a highly sexual person and there is nothing wrong with that. When my boyfriend and I are together we have amazing sex, as we are young and love each other dearly. I have discussed porn with him and we both acknowledge that looking about porn is just about becoming aroused to feel good physically, and that true love and devotion (and the greatest of all sexual pleasure) is reserved for each other.
However, I do not see my boyfriend everyday, so I see nothing wrong with achieving orgasm on my own. I don't see why some women think you're not allowed to orgasm unless you're with your lover. I should think that of all people, feminists would approve of self-pleasure that is independent of men.
But in regards to the original question: he might just be looking at porn and masturbating because of the stress he is under. Orgasm does wonders to release stress, but perhaps he has problems with intercourse itself. Intercourse can even be stressful sometimes because men feel that it is their responsibility to satisfy you (usually not the other way around). It is such a hard blow for men if they believe they have underperformed during sex. So your boyfriend might be avoiding the whole thing altogether. Perhaps he is feeling inadequate because of problems at work. Perhaps the both of you are also dealing with the stress of moving, which might account for the fact that neither of you have new friends where you are. Perhaps you are acting stressed as well, which might be putting him on edge. It is possible that he feels that a bad sexual performance at this point might turn you off from him even more and make your relationship worse. Of course this IS all speculation. I think the best thing for you would to go see a couple's counselor. It's obvious that your boyfriend wants to communicate to you because he's told you this much. It seems to me that you really do care about each other, so take the time to think about how hard it is for guys to open up about sexual problems. Try to be understanding of what he says and don't jump to wild conclusions first. If there comes a point where you must draw a line, then do it - just be sure to think these things through completely first. Good luck!
September 25, 2009 - 2:51pmThis Comment
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