Personally, I think "Feminism" is a bad word because of people like you. I'm sorry, but here's how it should work: You have your opinions. You can talk about them. But you don't use biased, foolish language such as "we have some chance of saving the future generations of men". You do your research, you say what you think, and you don't rub it in people's faces like that, okay?
And, since /somebody/ will now tell me I'm doing that to you, I'm not. I never said you had to stop posting. Just pointing out to you that you're giving feminists a bad name by calling /other women/ (you know, those people you're trying to make equal?) part of a "sad and messed up world" because we understand men. Try it!
In the case of my relationship with my loving boyfriend (who, by the way, I've been with for a long time, and I can speak pretty solidly on the subject now) I have no issue with porn. In fact, he watches porn nearly every night. And you know what's the kicker? Sometimes, I do to.
The world is a wonderful place. There's nothing wrong with him, he hasn't been rendered impotent, and by God, he's pretty damn happy with me. He's /happy/ with me because I accept it. I understand that porn can be exciting, porn can be arousing, and some (or, probably, most) men have a sex drive that goes far beyond what he wants from sex.
With my boy, he watches porn, he does what he needs to do without me. That's fine. And then, when I want it, he gives. When he wants me, he'll try to take me. We have a wonderfully healthy, and incredibly sexual, relationship.
For some men, restricting them from porn can make them lose their sexual interest in you. Men (and, quite frankly, myself and many other women that I know) get bored of the same old thing. Watching porn can give them ideas. It can be fun to see other people, sometimes! Really, a lot of the time, the porn makes him want a sexual relationship with me even more - he sees it, and he instantly thinks /God, I miss her./
To the OP, and anybody else with this same issue, I think it may not just be an issue with porn. I understand that it makes you feel cheap and cheated: believe me, I totally understand where you're coming from, even if I don't feel it myself.
Sit him down and talk to him. A lot of people aren't comfortable talking about this kind of thing, but it's something that has to be done. And, really, once you become comfortable with one another sexually, everything generally falls in to place.
Talk to him - don't fight with him, and don't let him fight with you - about what kind of things he likes. What are his fantasies? And yours? Are there things that the two of you can agree on, a type of compromise? Maybe porn has given him some interesting new ideas!
There's always a reason, you've just got to calm down and take the time to sort it out. Happy hunting! :P
Good luck.
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Personally, I think "Feminism" is a bad word because of people like you. I'm sorry, but here's how it should work: You have your opinions. You can talk about them. But you don't use biased, foolish language such as "we have some chance of saving the future generations of men". You do your research, you say what you think, and you don't rub it in people's faces like that, okay?
And, since /somebody/ will now tell me I'm doing that to you, I'm not. I never said you had to stop posting. Just pointing out to you that you're giving feminists a bad name by calling /other women/ (you know, those people you're trying to make equal?) part of a "sad and messed up world" because we understand men. Try it!
In the case of my relationship with my loving boyfriend (who, by the way, I've been with for a long time, and I can speak pretty solidly on the subject now) I have no issue with porn. In fact, he watches porn nearly every night. And you know what's the kicker? Sometimes, I do to.
The world is a wonderful place. There's nothing wrong with him, he hasn't been rendered impotent, and by God, he's pretty damn happy with me. He's /happy/ with me because I accept it. I understand that porn can be exciting, porn can be arousing, and some (or, probably, most) men have a sex drive that goes far beyond what he wants from sex.
With my boy, he watches porn, he does what he needs to do without me. That's fine. And then, when I want it, he gives. When he wants me, he'll try to take me. We have a wonderfully healthy, and incredibly sexual, relationship.
For some men, restricting them from porn can make them lose their sexual interest in you. Men (and, quite frankly, myself and many other women that I know) get bored of the same old thing. Watching porn can give them ideas. It can be fun to see other people, sometimes! Really, a lot of the time, the porn makes him want a sexual relationship with me even more - he sees it, and he instantly thinks /God, I miss her./
To the OP, and anybody else with this same issue, I think it may not just be an issue with porn. I understand that it makes you feel cheap and cheated: believe me, I totally understand where you're coming from, even if I don't feel it myself.
February 8, 2010 - 10:44amSit him down and talk to him. A lot of people aren't comfortable talking about this kind of thing, but it's something that has to be done. And, really, once you become comfortable with one another sexually, everything generally falls in to place.
Talk to him - don't fight with him, and don't let him fight with you - about what kind of things he likes. What are his fantasies? And yours? Are there things that the two of you can agree on, a type of compromise? Maybe porn has given him some interesting new ideas!
There's always a reason, you've just got to calm down and take the time to sort it out. Happy hunting! :P
Good luck.
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