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Tom,

Thanks so much for being willing to weigh in with another viewpoint and one that makes a lot of sense in your context. I think a lot of women could relate to what you said about your wife not being willing, able or even comfortable letting you please her. So often women focus their entire lives on pleasing others and are taught that it's what we are supposed to be doing. To do otherwise feels selfish or indulgent or vulnerable, and it can be very hard to change those feelings, especially after so many years.

I'm sorry she has no willingness to even discuss it. You both deserve more.

Thanks again for writing.