I am very sorry this is your husband that you are talking about; I was really hoping it would turn out to be a co-worker or family friend--in other words, someone you could avoid contact with as much as possible. I really feel for you. I have also dealt with some passive-aggressive people in my life and it is so hard.
It's interesting to me that he didn't show any signs of this while you were dating. I'm also very glad to read that you are not the doormat type--good for you!! To me that means you are not going to settle for this type of behavior in your marriage. Since you have a child to think about too that is, in my opinion, extra important.
Have you tried confronting him about this behavior? Is it at all possible that he doesn't realize he's doing it? What would you think about asking him to join you in couples therapy? Or tell him that if he won't go, you will? Either alone or together, counseling might give you some ideas on how to handle his behavior.
Since it's his second marriage too, I'm wondering if he did this same stuff before with his first wife? I'm also wondering what type of relationship his parents had or have?
You are most welcome for the hugs. More are heading your way right now. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. Big hugs, Michelle
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Hello again,
I am very sorry this is your husband that you are talking about; I was really hoping it would turn out to be a co-worker or family friend--in other words, someone you could avoid contact with as much as possible. I really feel for you. I have also dealt with some passive-aggressive people in my life and it is so hard.
It's interesting to me that he didn't show any signs of this while you were dating. I'm also very glad to read that you are not the doormat type--good for you!! To me that means you are not going to settle for this type of behavior in your marriage. Since you have a child to think about too that is, in my opinion, extra important.
Have you tried confronting him about this behavior? Is it at all possible that he doesn't realize he's doing it? What would you think about asking him to join you in couples therapy? Or tell him that if he won't go, you will? Either alone or together, counseling might give you some ideas on how to handle his behavior.
Since it's his second marriage too, I'm wondering if he did this same stuff before with his first wife? I'm also wondering what type of relationship his parents had or have?
You are most welcome for the hugs. More are heading your way right now. Please keep us posted on how you are doing. Big hugs, Michelle
August 15, 2009 - 9:54pmThis Comment
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