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I do understand your frustration, I have a friend of mine who despite knowing me for 2 years now,and who I see on a daily basis 'forgot' my birthday the other day and just gave me the cold shoulder all day long, despite asking me two days before if it was my birthday or not. But at the same time, you cant expect someone to just change like that, specially when he has behaved like that for years! It sounds like a lot of pressure to me to just change instantly, and more likely to backfire, and have him go back to his old ways! You could try and see what things you could handle and things you cannot absolutely tolerate, and draw a line everytime he steps the mark. One thing I know is that you need a lot of patience, but try and see the good things in him, and dont let yourself get upset or frustrated by his behaviour, which I think in a big element on why he behaves like that. Best of luck