I am sorry that I have to disagree with some of these comments. Not all people with AS miss out on nuances or cannot pick up on subtleties. Also, some people with AS can be empathetic and catch non-verbal communication. Many people with AS may have communication issues from very subtle (not noticeable to even friends) to severe (very overtly noticeable)- so you can't necessary even say that someone with AS cannot communicate with their spouses or have intimate relationships with those with and without AS. Also, it is quite disheartening that on many sites, people who are NT are often advised to make all or most of the changes for the person with AS. So, we are in fact teaching people with AS that it is okay to "not go out of your comfort zone because someone without AS will pick up the pieces for you." Everyone is accountable, and has to contribute to a relationship even if it takes a ton of mental, and emotional effort on the part of the person with AS. What is love without sacrifice. Love in action is work, and people shouldn't be let off the hook because they have challenges. We are not talking about people with classic autism who are non-verbal and cannot communicate. We are talking about people who have some communication challenges and who have average to above average intelligence. These individuals with Aspergers or High-functioning autism need to rise to the occasion in a relationship and put in the hard work, if they do indeed value the relationship. Otherwise, if people with AS expect to do the least amount of work because of their challenges, they shouldn't enter into a marriage contract with another individual. Anyone who doesn't want to put in the effort and go beyond for another person shouldn't get married. It is not fair to the other person. For those of you who are already married, I am not promoting divorce, but I will say it is not God's intention for you to be in bondage, and each person in the marriage needs to work together, despite limitations, towards a better marriage. Otherwise, there will be some accounting. People with AS may have some barriers, but they need to put effort forth in learning how to better communicate with their spouses. Ask for God's help, join a social skills group..do what you need to do, and don't make excuses. Put childish ways behind and become a man (woman) God wants you to be.
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I am sorry that I have to disagree with some of these comments. Not all people with AS miss out on nuances or cannot pick up on subtleties. Also, some people with AS can be empathetic and catch non-verbal communication. Many people with AS may have communication issues from very subtle (not noticeable to even friends) to severe (very overtly noticeable)- so you can't necessary even say that someone with AS cannot communicate with their spouses or have intimate relationships with those with and without AS. Also, it is quite disheartening that on many sites, people who are NT are often advised to make all or most of the changes for the person with AS. So, we are in fact teaching people with AS that it is okay to "not go out of your comfort zone because someone without AS will pick up the pieces for you." Everyone is accountable, and has to contribute to a relationship even if it takes a ton of mental, and emotional effort on the part of the person with AS. What is love without sacrifice. Love in action is work, and people shouldn't be let off the hook because they have challenges. We are not talking about people with classic autism who are non-verbal and cannot communicate. We are talking about people who have some communication challenges and who have average to above average intelligence. These individuals with Aspergers or High-functioning autism need to rise to the occasion in a relationship and put in the hard work, if they do indeed value the relationship. Otherwise, if people with AS expect to do the least amount of work because of their challenges, they shouldn't enter into a marriage contract with another individual. Anyone who doesn't want to put in the effort and go beyond for another person shouldn't get married. It is not fair to the other person. For those of you who are already married, I am not promoting divorce, but I will say it is not God's intention for you to be in bondage, and each person in the marriage needs to work together, despite limitations, towards a better marriage. Otherwise, there will be some accounting. People with AS may have some barriers, but they need to put effort forth in learning how to better communicate with their spouses. Ask for God's help, join a social skills group..do what you need to do, and don't make excuses. Put childish ways behind and become a man (woman) God wants you to be.
January 10, 2016 - 1:12pmThis Comment
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