Please feel free to come back and talk with us anytime, and if your sadness is effecting the rest of your life (as the other member mentioned: eating, sleeping and daily life), then it is time to seek professional help.
You (and your mom) may want to talk with a counselor or psychologist about your feelings. It is wonderful for the caregivers to love and support their loved-one in need, and it is also OK and vital to know that caregivers can feel stressed, lonely, isolated, put-upon, financially and emotionally and socially burdened. Caregivers need to know that they are not being selfish for these feelings; they are real, and if acknowledged and properly addressed, can be healthy feelings. You are 18, want to look forward to college and a social life and having fun, while still helping your parents. Now, with your dad's accident, you are having to put your life on hold for the moment to focus on him...and you didn't ask for this to happen. We know how your dad and mom feel, and they are probably scared and wanting the best for their family (including you), too. Give this new situation some time, help out as much as you can, and also talk with your mom about your needing a few hours every day to yourself to have fun, so that you can be a better caregiver and support to the family. Caregivers need emotional and social support for themselves, too, in order to be the best caregiver.
So much can happen in the next 2, 6 or 12 months that your dreams may not be on-hold, or they may be on-hold for a short time.
You do not have to be clinically depressed to talk with a counselor or psychologist, and they are a wonderful "third person" who can listen to your feelings without judgment and help you deal with the negative emotions so you are able to focus on all of the wonderful things that your family is doing for each other.
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Please feel free to come back and talk with us anytime, and if your sadness is effecting the rest of your life (as the other member mentioned: eating, sleeping and daily life), then it is time to seek professional help.
You (and your mom) may want to talk with a counselor or psychologist about your feelings. It is wonderful for the caregivers to love and support their loved-one in need, and it is also OK and vital to know that caregivers can feel stressed, lonely, isolated, put-upon, financially and emotionally and socially burdened. Caregivers need to know that they are not being selfish for these feelings; they are real, and if acknowledged and properly addressed, can be healthy feelings. You are 18, want to look forward to college and a social life and having fun, while still helping your parents. Now, with your dad's accident, you are having to put your life on hold for the moment to focus on him...and you didn't ask for this to happen. We know how your dad and mom feel, and they are probably scared and wanting the best for their family (including you), too. Give this new situation some time, help out as much as you can, and also talk with your mom about your needing a few hours every day to yourself to have fun, so that you can be a better caregiver and support to the family. Caregivers need emotional and social support for themselves, too, in order to be the best caregiver.
So much can happen in the next 2, 6 or 12 months that your dreams may not be on-hold, or they may be on-hold for a short time.
You do not have to be clinically depressed to talk with a counselor or psychologist, and they are a wonderful "third person" who can listen to your feelings without judgment and help you deal with the negative emotions so you are able to focus on all of the wonderful things that your family is doing for each other.
Here are some other references you and your mom may find useful:
- Caregiver Stress: The impact of chronic disease on the family
- Caregiver Stress
I hope to hear from you again! We'll be thinking about you, and would love to hear how you are doing (as well as how your dad is recovering).
October 25, 2009 - 3:17pmThis Comment
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