Congrats on being a survivor!!! It is not easy, but you continue to fight and that is so commendable! You are proof that miracles do happen! I have experienced similar physical and emotional issues. My family has a history of depression, migraines and thyroid disease. My migraines have lessoned as I have gotten older. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and thyroid disease, it has been very challenging to deal with the complexity of that little butterfly gland!
Getting a handle on my depression is like trying to hit a moving target! LOL But, I cannot function when my brain is chemically unbalanced. I have been on several types of antidepressants. Years ago while on Effexor, I told my physician that I felt sexually dead inside. For me, a huge part of living a happy and healthy life is a being able to be a sexual being. That sexual component is not an option, it is a necessity. Once Wellbutrin was added, even though I have had to switch antidepressants, Wellbutrin continues to allow me to feel like a sexy woman.
You also mention childhood abuse, I was curious if was it physical, emotional and/or sexual. My personal story includes surviving sexual molestation (at ten years old) and an addiction to prescription pain meds and alcohol. I checked myself into rehab, worked a 12 Step Program and participated in extensive one-on-one therapy. I was trying to kill the pain inside me, but what I was doing… was killing me!
I participated in a ten week course where survivors of sexual abuse would be review “Door of Hope: Recognizing and Resolving the Pains of Your Past” by Jan Frank. It was a very empowering experience for all eight of us who participated. We finally got to share our stories and experiences, but most of all, learned we were not alone. At the conclusion of the course, we chose to get together every week, to let our inner child play and learn. Since we had been robbed of our childhoods, it was very important in our growth process to be a child, we played games, got color books and crayons, and colored outside of the lines, enjoyed creative projects and watched movies like Shrek
Yes, it was a very painful but it was also extremely healing. We learned that we had “extreme behaviors.” As a result of we can develop extreme behaviors such as, being overly critical, inability to urinate in the presence of others, eating disorders, feeling dirty, excessive spending habits, sexual promiscuity, manipulation and psychosomatic disorders. For me, the light bulb kept coming on, it all rang true. I was nodding and agreeing, finally understanding why I reacted in certain ways and have behaviors that others did not understand.
Like you, I am a professional woman who is positive, spiritual and love to laugh. But, I had to learn how to be a spiritual being again. Our journey in life is one of wonder and blessings. I too have struggled with my relationships with men. But, I have done the work and now know what a healthy partner and relationship is. We are very lovable and deserve to have it all. While I continue my search for my love and partner, I never give up and am not afraid.
Knowledge is powerful and so are we!!! Everyone hits bumps in the road, but you ask questions, thus getting information and assistance you need to heal. Sasha, your humility is a wonderful quality and inspires me.
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Dear Sasha,
Congrats on being a survivor!!! It is not easy, but you continue to fight and that is so commendable! You are proof that miracles do happen! I have experienced similar physical and emotional issues. My family has a history of depression, migraines and thyroid disease. My migraines have lessoned as I have gotten older. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and thyroid disease, it has been very challenging to deal with the complexity of that little butterfly gland!
Getting a handle on my depression is like trying to hit a moving target! LOL But, I cannot function when my brain is chemically unbalanced. I have been on several types of antidepressants. Years ago while on Effexor, I told my physician that I felt sexually dead inside. For me, a huge part of living a happy and healthy life is a being able to be a sexual being. That sexual component is not an option, it is a necessity. Once Wellbutrin was added, even though I have had to switch antidepressants, Wellbutrin continues to allow me to feel like a sexy woman.
You also mention childhood abuse, I was curious if was it physical, emotional and/or sexual. My personal story includes surviving sexual molestation (at ten years old) and an addiction to prescription pain meds and alcohol. I checked myself into rehab, worked a 12 Step Program and participated in extensive one-on-one therapy. I was trying to kill the pain inside me, but what I was doing… was killing me!
I participated in a ten week course where survivors of sexual abuse would be review “Door of Hope: Recognizing and Resolving the Pains of Your Past” by Jan Frank. It was a very empowering experience for all eight of us who participated. We finally got to share our stories and experiences, but most of all, learned we were not alone. At the conclusion of the course, we chose to get together every week, to let our inner child play and learn. Since we had been robbed of our childhoods, it was very important in our growth process to be a child, we played games, got color books and crayons, and colored outside of the lines, enjoyed creative projects and watched movies like Shrek
Yes, it was a very painful but it was also extremely healing. We learned that we had “extreme behaviors.” As a result of we can develop extreme behaviors such as, being overly critical, inability to urinate in the presence of others, eating disorders, feeling dirty, excessive spending habits, sexual promiscuity, manipulation and psychosomatic disorders. For me, the light bulb kept coming on, it all rang true. I was nodding and agreeing, finally understanding why I reacted in certain ways and have behaviors that others did not understand.
Like you, I am a professional woman who is positive, spiritual and love to laugh. But, I had to learn how to be a spiritual being again. Our journey in life is one of wonder and blessings. I too have struggled with my relationships with men. But, I have done the work and now know what a healthy partner and relationship is. We are very lovable and deserve to have it all. While I continue my search for my love and partner, I never give up and am not afraid.
Knowledge is powerful and so are we!!! Everyone hits bumps in the road, but you ask questions, thus getting information and assistance you need to heal. Sasha, your humility is a wonderful quality and inspires me.
October 28, 2009 - 11:32amThis Comment
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