What do YOU want from your life? In addition to a loving relationship, of course, what do YOU hope to do in your life?
You mention that your boyfriend wants to play poker forever, play hockey forever, and have sex to porn instead of you. And that you dont' know if you want to follow him around (to the casino, to the hockey games) for the rest of your life, but you aren't sure what you'd do without him.
So let's talk about what you'd do without him. What sort of dreams did you have for your life before you met him? What kind of career or profession interests you? Do you want to travel? Do you have any natural talents, things you love to do?
What kinds of small things make you happy? Your favorite things to wear, your favorite music, your favorite movies? Do you have girlfriends that you keep up with? Are you close to your family?
His life is not your life. And it can't be. You aren't happy that he gambles, that he masturbates to porn, or that he won't pay attention to you, but you aren't sure what you'd do without him. That's called settling, Courtney. And it isn't something that feels good to you.
So I urge you to do something -- start a journal, maybe -- where you get back in touch with Courtney. Maybe you only write in it for 15 minutes a day, but what you write about is what YOU want, what makes YOU happy, and what YOU hope will happen in your day, your week, your year, your life.
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Courtney,
What do YOU want from your life? In addition to a loving relationship, of course, what do YOU hope to do in your life?
You mention that your boyfriend wants to play poker forever, play hockey forever, and have sex to porn instead of you. And that you dont' know if you want to follow him around (to the casino, to the hockey games) for the rest of your life, but you aren't sure what you'd do without him.
So let's talk about what you'd do without him. What sort of dreams did you have for your life before you met him? What kind of career or profession interests you? Do you want to travel? Do you have any natural talents, things you love to do?
What kinds of small things make you happy? Your favorite things to wear, your favorite music, your favorite movies? Do you have girlfriends that you keep up with? Are you close to your family?
His life is not your life. And it can't be. You aren't happy that he gambles, that he masturbates to porn, or that he won't pay attention to you, but you aren't sure what you'd do without him. That's called settling, Courtney. And it isn't something that feels good to you.
So I urge you to do something -- start a journal, maybe -- where you get back in touch with Courtney. Maybe you only write in it for 15 minutes a day, but what you write about is what YOU want, what makes YOU happy, and what YOU hope will happen in your day, your week, your year, your life.
What makes you special?
October 29, 2009 - 8:37amThis Comment
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