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Dear Anon,

First of all, I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way, and that you've been crying for four days. Please wipe your tears and let's talk for a minute.

Your 22 and your boyfriend is 27, and you are talking about marriage. You clearly love each other, you are adults and you are thoughtful people. There is nothing wrong with getting carried away or with having sex as long as you are both consenting adults. There's nothing to be ashamed about in the least.

You say you "don't really know what came over us." I do: desire!!! It happens to all of us. You are physically and mentally attracted to one another, you clearly are talking about commitment, and the hormones took over. It happens, Anon.

It sounds as though you were as careful as you can be under the circumstances. The way you describe it, yes, there is a small chance you would have gotten pregnant that way, but it would be quite a small chance. Any time some ejaculate or pre-ejaculate enters the vagina (and it can, even if a hymen is intact), there is a chance of pregnancy. But it is a much smaller chance then it would be if he had ejaculated inside of you.

The thing to do here is to not beat yourself up over this, but to look realistically toward the future. Will you truly be able to wait until your wedding? Or should you have condoms or another form of birth control ready in case this might happen again? (And again, it would be natural if it did.)

Where are you in your monthly cycle? When did your last period start, and/or when do you expect your next period to start? And are your periods regular?

November 10, 2009 - 8:57am

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