I see why you're upset. You hoped for a sparkly or floral birthday, romantic and sweet, and instead got a present that disappointed you and that comes with a bit of baggage (i.e. the current bedroom problems).
But looking at this as an outsider, I can so see how it happened. A week before your birthday, you come home saying "OMG we have got to get one" to your boyfriend, about a sex toy. He's a man! They jump at opportunities like this!!
He may have had to summon his courage to buy it, too -- entering the shop, seeing the variety, choosing one, paying for it. All the while he was imagining two things: your happy face when you opened the present, and the fun times in the future that the toy seemed to imply.
There's no real fault here. It's an unfortunate set of circumstances created by your fizzy enthusiasm over something you'd just seen. I can understand why you are disappointed; I can also understand why he was defensive the first time you brought it up.
Has enough time passed yet that the two of you can see this as just a little humorous? Or are you afraid it's going to hurt your relationship further because of the underlying meanings you attribute to the gift?
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Anon,
I see why you're upset. You hoped for a sparkly or floral birthday, romantic and sweet, and instead got a present that disappointed you and that comes with a bit of baggage (i.e. the current bedroom problems).
But looking at this as an outsider, I can so see how it happened. A week before your birthday, you come home saying "OMG we have got to get one" to your boyfriend, about a sex toy. He's a man! They jump at opportunities like this!!
He may have had to summon his courage to buy it, too -- entering the shop, seeing the variety, choosing one, paying for it. All the while he was imagining two things: your happy face when you opened the present, and the fun times in the future that the toy seemed to imply.
There's no real fault here. It's an unfortunate set of circumstances created by your fizzy enthusiasm over something you'd just seen. I can understand why you are disappointed; I can also understand why he was defensive the first time you brought it up.
Has enough time passed yet that the two of you can see this as just a little humorous? Or are you afraid it's going to hurt your relationship further because of the underlying meanings you attribute to the gift?
November 12, 2009 - 9:54amThis Comment
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