About your article “Bipolar Disorder: More Than the Ups and Downs of Life”
You are going to school for journalism and take a special interest in health and science. May I suggest a few changes that will make your paper sound more professional?
Pg. 1, Para 6; When you state, "The sad thing is that..."
Perhaps you can change it to, "Statistics show..."
Pg. 2 Para 2; Instead of using the word think, maybe try believe.
Pg. 2 Para 2; Perhaps you can spell out ASAP instead of abbreviating it.
Comment Reply
About your article “Bipolar Disorder: More Than the Ups and Downs of Life”
You are going to school for journalism and take a special interest in health and science. May I suggest a few changes that will make your paper sound more professional?
Pg. 1, Para 6; When you state, "The sad thing is that..."
Perhaps you can change it to, "Statistics show..."
Pg. 2 Para 2; Instead of using the word think, maybe try believe.
Pg. 2 Para 2; Perhaps you can spell out ASAP instead of abbreviating it.
Hope I helped.
January 31, 2010 - 3:11pm- Angel
This Comment
Reply