Hi I am in a similar situation - I too have gone through the complete soul-destroying experience of being raped and now, years later, every argument or difficulty I have with my boyfriend of 3 years I basically just blame myself. Tell myself I'm not good enough, that men are the ones who always want sex rather than the women so I must be so undesirable. But you know what? It's not us - it's these men who with hold sex and intimacy, making us feel worthless, alone and down-trodden. You get to a point where you start to think that being single and alone is better than being in a relationship and alone. So that's what I've done. I broke up with that sorry piece of **** three weeks ago, and I SWEAR I feel AMAZING!
He brought me down SO much by not wanting to be with me and I thought that I needed him - that I couldn't live without him but it came to a point where I was sick of being alone with him. If your man values you for the strong, beautiful woman that you really are (I know compliments are hard to hear but listen), then if you break up with him he will come crawling back. And if not?
I know you're probably thinking you feel afraid of being alone - well after reading your post you sound like you are feeling pretty alone already. Breaking up is the hardest thing, but sometimes things have to fall apart so better things can fall together. You will be okay. More than okay. You will find someone and you will be happy, just please allow yourself that!
Also, again, I know it's the last thing you want to do, but talk to a GP or a councillor or SOMEONE. bottling it up will destroy you - I myself very nearly took my own life more than once and years on I am free, happy and (between you and me) just started dating someone new :D I promise you everything will be okay. If you get this, maybe let me know how you are doing?
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Hi I am in a similar situation - I too have gone through the complete soul-destroying experience of being raped and now, years later, every argument or difficulty I have with my boyfriend of 3 years I basically just blame myself. Tell myself I'm not good enough, that men are the ones who always want sex rather than the women so I must be so undesirable. But you know what? It's not us - it's these men who with hold sex and intimacy, making us feel worthless, alone and down-trodden. You get to a point where you start to think that being single and alone is better than being in a relationship and alone. So that's what I've done. I broke up with that sorry piece of **** three weeks ago, and I SWEAR I feel AMAZING!
He brought me down SO much by not wanting to be with me and I thought that I needed him - that I couldn't live without him but it came to a point where I was sick of being alone with him. If your man values you for the strong, beautiful woman that you really are (I know compliments are hard to hear but listen), then if you break up with him he will come crawling back. And if not?
I know you're probably thinking you feel afraid of being alone - well after reading your post you sound like you are feeling pretty alone already. Breaking up is the hardest thing, but sometimes things have to fall apart so better things can fall together. You will be okay. More than okay. You will find someone and you will be happy, just please allow yourself that!
Also, again, I know it's the last thing you want to do, but talk to a GP or a councillor or SOMEONE. bottling it up will destroy you - I myself very nearly took my own life more than once and years on I am free, happy and (between you and me) just started dating someone new :D I promise you everything will be okay. If you get this, maybe let me know how you are doing?
I wish you all the very best sweetie
-Anna
July 7, 2014 - 9:01amThis Comment
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